A
male
age
30-35,
*anAfterChrist
writes:Hi, First off, I'm not too concerned about this, I'm more just curious if there is anything else I can do. Secondly, I'm a Christian man really only willing to date women who strive after Christ with my passion, and are in my area of attractiveness (I'm a realist in that sense).I've had one real girlfriend; it only lasted 5 months, and it was near the end of my high school years. Before her, I had tried to date about 3 to 5 other women and it just never worked out. The reason it "never worked out" is because women always seem to think of me as a best friend. After that one girlfriend, I've tried to date just a couple women. I don't really actively pursue very much, only after really making sure I like them. But by that time, I've already been put in the friend zone. While it's possible to get out of the friend zone, I don't want to jeopardize any good relationships I have built either, so I would rather be a best friend than nothing at all. It seems when I move fast, the girl is more into me, but I get into something that I am just not sure about and that's just not fair to the woman, so I end up calling it off.My question is, is there anything I can improve with my timing to be "better" at dating? If I go too fast, it's not good for me, too slow it's not good for them. Also, I'm good at getting numbers at get-togethers or just out in public, but as I stated earlier I want a girl that will help me build my own relationship with Christ... a woman that will strenthen me. So those "pick-ups" hardly ever work out. I know I have a lot of criteria! I know my standards are high! Another question worth asking is should I lower my standards because it's just not fair to women? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
View related questions:
best friend, christian Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, ManAfterChrist +, writes (27 April 2010):
ManAfterChrist is verified as being by the original poster of the question I guess this is pretty much all I'm gonna get.. XD
I appreciate everything, especially Emily's response. This wasn't a huge issue in my life, but you did help me out! Thanks!!
A
female
reader, Polaroid93  +, writes (25 April 2010):
Ask out a single woman at church for a drink, talk to her first, then drop the question.
...............................
A
male
reader, ManAfterChrist +, writes (25 April 2010):
ManAfterChrist is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks, Emily! That is something to keep in mind.I'm still open to more answers, keep 'em coming!
...............................
A
female
reader, It's all be okay +, writes (25 April 2010):
I would just relax about it! If you are a Christian and it's important to you that your girlfriend be a Christian too, that's fine - you can go to Christian events and gatherings and no doubt get to meet lots of nice Christian girls. I would just make friends and if it's meant to be, in due course it will be. Any girl who thinks you have been "too slow" was never interested in you anyway. Just relax - you're only young - you have years ahead of you yet, and if there is a woman for you, she'll show up eventually.
...............................
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (25 April 2010):
You can date some one and see if you like them at the same time you know.
If you meet a girl and think you might like her, then ask her out. You can take it slowly as long as you give her enough signals that you like her.
Holding hands, and kisses on the cheek and compliments can be enough. But if a girl gets none of this she will assume you are not interested and then just see you as a friend.
You seem to be forgetting that for this to work, you have to match up to her standards too, and so far you have been lacking.
Being picky is fine, but if you get in the friend zone every time while testing her out, then you could miss out on the love of your life. Be a bit more pro-active!!
Good Luck!! xx
...............................
|
