A
male
age
30-35,
*dpeters15
writes:OkI'm 19 years old and 4 months ago i started dating one of my good friends and she makes me happy but she thinks I'm her future. Like were going to get married right out of college, and that is scaring me. She is a good friend and I hate to say it but I'm only going out with her because i don't want to be alone and that she's only going to be a good friend.I'm attracted to bigger women and I don't want to hide that anymore so i want to break up with her but i don't want to hurt her but i don't want to pull her along and make us both miserable.I just need some courage and some advice on what i should do. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2010): Please don't play and break her heart.
If she really loves you that way, and you don't, you shouldn't play with her emotions.
If you don't see her other than your companion I don't think you deserve to be her boyfriend.
Love is not a game to play, specially when one's getting serious.
Tell her the truth now, and help her move on.
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (3 November 2010):
 Do you want to break up with her, or continue seeing her?
If you continue to see her you need to let her know that you are nowhere ready to talk about marriage and future yet. You should also tell her your aims for dating her... although it comes a bit late. She is clearly dating to find a husband. Tell her that you are not dating to find a wife, but dating to have good companionship and enjoy life. Marriage is something you do not see in your near future, and that if she is looking for a husband she needs to look elsewhere.
It's perfectly legit, if you ask me, to date someone because you want the companionship. That is actually why most people date. Some date to find a husband, but that's all about finding a companion as well. When most couples start off, romantic feelings aren't involved. They take an interest in each other, and enjoy each others company. While she has fallen head over heels for you though, you still view her only as a good friend. That doesn't make you a bad boyfriend, but you and her have different ambitions.
I suggest you let her go for her own sake as you are not what she is looking for. She's looking for someone to marry, and you already know that wont be you. So just let her know.
But if you want to continue dating her or not it is a bit up to her as well. I don't think its nice to lead her on. But you could say you would very much like to continue the relationship, but that you and her are on different emotional levels, and unless she's able to calm down and be fine with that, you can't go on.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (3 November 2010):
 Ouch, well it's best to end this relationship as soon as possible. You already made a bad move in dating her just because you don't want to be alone, and it seems to be backfiring on you seeing as she thinks you're her future. So don't play with her emotions anymore than you already have. Just tell her a little bit of the truth, not the part of where you're using her, but the part where you're more attracted to bigger women. She won't forgive you if you tell her you're using her, but she will forgive you if you tell her the part about being into bigger girls.
End it, before you're graduated, she's looking at wedding dresses and talking about moving in together..then you're in it too deep.
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