A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Yesterday, someone commented that I appear to be five years older than I really am, and I've been feeling depressed ever since. It might seem like I'm overreacting but there are underlying feelings and this just made me feel even worse. An ACQUAINTANCE, not a friend, speculated that I look to be about 35.I wanted to break his face, but I had to control myself, but I DID pray silently that someone does just that to him.I've asked my friends for their honest opinions, and they say that I look to be about 30...One of my friends says that I would look younger if I took better care of myself... I don't sleep as much as I should, and most of my friends know it.I realize that I am setting myself up for more serious problems if I don't improve my sleeping habits, but all I can think about is that I'm depressed about how I look.I'm 31, but NOBODY thinks of 30 as desirable or sexy.I'm afraid that it's too late to undo the damage I've done. I would do ANYTHING to look young and to be pretty but I'm scared it's too late.I don't talk to anyone about this because I'll come across as insecure but I feel undesirable. I'm 31 and I've never had a serious relationship, although I've been in love (five years ago). I've had feelings for a series of people but each time they're unrequited.I'm beginning to despair: I'm 31 and I've NEVER loved anyone who returned my feelings. If I couldn't find someone when I was younger and more attractive, why are things likely to change?Is there anything I can do to undo the damage I've done and look younger or have I ruined my looks forever?Why would a guy be interested in me when there are loads of women who are smarter, prettier, more talented? WHAT would anyone see in me?I want to cry, but on whose shoulder? I live far away from my family, and I have made lots of friends where I am now, but what I long for is my mom. I know that I've digressed, just needed to vent.Thanks, if you can help me.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2011): I'm a 33 yo man, loved and desired by many pretty young girls, and I know a 31 year old whom I would kiss the land she walks on!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2011): Take control. Most beautiful women that you'll see and admire do not fall out of bed looking like that. They work at it. And that's what u should do book into a good expensive hairdressers. Ask fir a cut and colour that suits you and makes u look more glamorous, then go to a department store and book in fir a make over. There are so many plain women who look fantastic with just a little effort. Youre early 30s, still young! Make the most of yourself. Try something new. Get a hobby join a dating club get involved with life. Because sitting at home with no makeup on by yourself doesn't get u a man or any new friends. It makes u feel aline and hopeless I know that whatever your baseline attractiveness you can improve it and from revamping your look and seizing control of your life springs confidence. Don't delay. Put yourself out there.
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A
female
reader, TEM  +, writes (28 March 2011):
 Stop worrying so much or you'll get wrinkles! Just kidding. You are pretty young in terms of worrying about the bloom falling off the rose, IMHO. It is CERTAINLY not too late. Women are kind of lucky in this respect. There are lots of things they can do that aren't acceptable for men, such as coloring their hair and wearing makeup. So, you've got options.
Before turning to hair and makeup to revive your looks, it's best to examine your living habits. I'm assuming you don't have what people call "that fresh look" because you don't get enough sleep. Why can't you improve your sleeping habits? If you get little sleep by choice, get in bed earlier. There is a lot of truth to what is called "beauty sleep." Your body needs it to do it's regenerative work.
If you want to sleep, but are having a lot of trouble, you really need to try and resolve the issue. The world looks pretty bleak to a person who is sleep deprived. You can look this up on the web in terms of improving your sleep habits - there are lots of suggestions to be found. Failing these attempts, it may be necessary to see a doctor. Sleeplessness underlies a lot of different medical conditions, so it's best to get that checked out.
Along those lines, take a look at your diet. Avoid fast food, its a beauty killer. Eat fresh fruits and vegetables when you can, and drink LOTS of water. You would be amazed at the number of people that look worn out because they are dehydrated. Also, if you smoke, give it up. I know that's easier said than done but smoking has proven to cause wrinkles. Get some fresh air and exercise daily (your mood will lift and you will look better).
After having said this, I realize you won't feel motivated to make any changes unless you feel better about yourself. If you are depressed, there are options available. No one need suffer with these problems today. Make an appointment with your doctor and discuss these very issues.
When you resolve your mood and sleep problems you will feel more motivated to try new makeup, hairstyles and clothes, but it is true that beauty comes from within. Take care of yourself first. The rest is just icing on the cake.
Best of luck,
TEM
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