A
female
age
41-50,
*adonna8
writes:I have just come out of a 15 year relationship I am 33 years old and met a wonderful man 3 months ago. He has recently split up from his wife 6 months ago and has 2 children. We met through work and I spent the night with him not thinking anything else of it then he contacted me sending text messages and phoning me all the time. I decided to meet up with him again and we had the best time and this continued for the last 3 months. He is very very upset his wife left him and is struggling to cope but he told me he thought he had fallen in love with me and I tried to fight this as did not want to get involved with someone so quickly after meeting up again I said I did want it to work between us and we should sort it out. He was worried about his ex-wife then he just stopped contacting me! I finally got hold of him to find out what had happened and he said he neeeded time for work, kids and to sort himself out and it was not goodbye but best if we did not talk for a while. Within a week of this we met again and it was back on and he told me how much he missed me then again nothing! I then called him to ask what the hell was going on and I could not deal with the hot and cold situation anymore. So I suggested we did not talk for a while which he seemed fine about. Should I contact him again in a month or leave it? I can't get him out of my mind, he said so many things to me and I thought he really wanted to be with me. He said he thought I was an amazing person and he loved hanging out with me but he has hardly any time for himself at present. I am so confused and feel a little silly for falling for it all. Help!!!!!!!
View related questions:
ex-wife, his ex, split up, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Madonna8 +, writes (19 July 2009):
Madonna8 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI feel I am going to contact him in about a months time to see his response. I might not want to contact him after that time anyway! I know he is taking his kids on vacation for a week. If he does not return my messages then I feel it will be time to move on and just think I had a good few months and what is meant to be shall be.
Thanks for all the advice. I am mixed on the responses as I do feel if someone likes you they would be with you howver he is a very family man and this has destroyed him. He also told me if we were to be together is should be in the right circumstances not when he is still wanting his old life back.
Men you never know what they are thinking!!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2009): Give him the space he needs. In the meantime don't hang around like the lady in waiting. After all you didn't intend to get too serious so make sure you look after your own sense of self so that if or when he is ever ready to move things along you are not too needy. Try and keep a balance in your life as I sense this has already taken you over emotionally already.
...............................
A
female
reader, miso32  +, writes (18 July 2009):
I think you did the right thing by calling him on his behavior. I hate to say this, because I know it's hard, but if he wants to be with you, he'll reach out to you. I know we like to make tons of excuses why maybe a guy isn't contacting us and then we reach out but he's already given you mixed messages. If you haven't spoken in a while I would leave it. He needs time to sort himself out - that is not enough time to heal after a divorce. If he's a good guy, he'll really respect that you gave him space. He knows where you are, he can contact you when he's ready. In the meantime, I wouldn't hesitate to date others and put yourself out there.
...............................
|
