A
female
age
30-35,
*eptember.october
writes:We've been together for 9 months, and i know that doesn't seem like alot, and i know im too younge to think i know what love is. And i know many of you who are married or older are going to tell me i am naive and don't know what i'm getting into. But i have found the love of my life, the person that understand everything about me, loves my flaws, and shares most of my interests. the things we dont agree on, are NOT problematic, things like sushi.. which i like and he doesnt, or the fact that i say A scissors.. like its a plural, and he teases me. He wants kids, i want kids, he wants a family i want a family, he likes the suburbs,i do too, we both want to go to college in boston etc. all the important things are mutual. i love him so much, but we both know that an engagement NOW would be futile and sort of silly. and it would draw alot of bad judgement from family AND friends,but how what can i do to make sure we dont get impatient in the next 2 years (even if we dont get married we hope to move in together for college)..its frusterating not to be with him when i want, and same goes for him. what can we do to keep from getting antsy and restless in the meantime? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, So-Infatuated +, writes (5 July 2009):
Marriage is such a beautiful thing. The reason why there is such a high rate in divorces is because too many people enter a marriage with the mentality of (boyfriend/girlfriend). Being married is on a whole another level, that some people can't grasp. When problems arises in a marriage people think they can just walk away from it and wash their hands of it. But it's not that easy. But what people also fail to realize is that regardless of what happens in a marriage (infidelity, lying,abuse) you're suppose to reconcile to the best of your ability. Because just like so many other problems that enters our lives, you can't just walk away from them and not figure out a solution. Because at the end of the day it's always going to be there, piling up and waiting for you.Just because you're 16 doesn't mean that you're not ready for marriage. Don't let other people's opinions interfere with the feelings of your heart. Because you're relationship and perception of it, is different from theirs. Age doesn't measure the maturity level of person.And don't worry about family and friends. They tell you things because, they love you and want the best for you. But at the same time, it's your relationship, not theirs.The best thing I can tell you is to have patience, because rushing things gets you no where. And if you're a God fearing person, trust and believe that God always have better plans for us. In the meantime, you could announce that you're engaged. There is nothing wrong with being engaged for the next two years. Because it gives you time. Time to work and save for a nice affordable wedding, down payment for a place and other misc. things.I know that you're young and MIGHT/MIGHT NOT be intimate with your boyfriend, but the best thing i can tell you is to be smart and always protect yourself. Consider some extensive family planning.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2009): Hi dear,
The reason most people would say negative things to you is simply because you do not know what marriage is. Marriage is not only the next step in love. It is a huge undertaking of living with each other, being able to cope with life's expenses, following careers and trying to maintain simple utilities like food and shelter. All in that as well as making time for each other, to fit romance and love.
If you want to prepare yourself for marriage then my suggestion is to take Libra's advice on career path. You both need to find ways to support each other and this becomes easier with good education. So keep going to school all the way into and out of college. Indeed babe you do not know what you are getting into but you can prepare for it by getting to know each other more and more, and experiencing new things together, and focusing on a financially safe future. Take your time, and enjoy each other for now.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2009): Why rush into it? Marriage is a lifetime commitment. If you can't wait two years for it, you're in trouble already. It seems glamorous to be married, but in reality, you're still in a relationship with someone. If you know you want to be together the rest of your lives then what's two short years? You can get promise rings if you really NEED something, but there's no need to rush into marriage. Just enjoy each others' company. Things change a LOT at your age. You don't know where you'll be in a year or two years. So enjoy each other and if you're really ready to spend your lives together, you'll be even more sure and ready in two years.
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A
female
reader, Libra1963  +, writes (5 July 2009):
 Marriage is a big commitment. Its easy to get into and hard to get out off. It often changes relationships. Get to know each other better. Sort out careers for yourselves so that you can support yourselves. Do not even thing about trying to trap him by becoming pregnant. That will definately send him running no matter how much he loves you.
You are together know. You have a lifetime ahead of you - WAIT a while.
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