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female
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anonymous
writes: hi i am only 14 yars old and already might as well be a parent. i get up every single morning at 5 o clock have breakfast get a shower bush my teeth and get dressed then at 6:30 i get my little brother an sister age 2 and my little sister age 1 up and i give them breakfast get them washed and changed dress them and brush their teeth i then make their bottles and put everything in their bags and take them to nursery and go to school. after school i then go pick them up from school take them to the shop and buy the twins a treat and take them home i go get them changed give them tea we do something like play a game or watch tele or i am teaching the twins how to count i give them a bath get their jamas on brush their teeth put them to bed with a bottle and i read them a story. i then go out at half 8 when my dad gets home and i meet up with my boyfriend. i go in at half 10 and go get my self bathed and ready for bed and do my own thing i dont get any free time to my self and i do all this while my mum is sat on her lazy backside or out with her friends. i am never going to get a life of my own and as soon as i am 17 im moving out what are the babes going to do shall i take them or leave them i dont want them putting in care does any one have any advice .. sorry for the long message but i needed to ask advice thanx xx Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Wild Thaing  +, writes (5 June 2006):
 Thank you for updating us with more information about your mother. After reading the update, I am now convinced that you need to drag both of your parents into the same room and let them hear your side of the story. Your mother's behaviour has an explanation, but in order to discover that explanation you need to get inside your mother's head and think as she is thinking right now. If you can get your dad and your mom to talk to each other in front of you, then all you need do is sit back and listen.
What you hear out of your mother may surprise you and your dad. Regardless, the future of your family is clearly at stake. Don't wait another day to do this, because to wait is to diminish the devotion you have to your siblings. And worse than this, if you wait, you could end up following in your mother's footsteps.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2006): thanx everyone my mum is a bit strange but in a weird way. she has changed over the past few years. when i was a baby she has a set routine and she looked after me she took me everywhere and she did everything with me but now she doesnt want to know she goes with mates and she talks about me and she says how she looked after me and she tells them all the old stories but she never speaks about lilly george and mia and she has never told any of them she loves them she says all the tme she only had them for the money.. thanx again x
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A
male
reader, Wild Thaing +, writes (4 June 2006):
You did the right thing by talking to your dad. I think the two of you will be able to handle the care of your siblings, if worse comes to worst.
But what to do about your mother... I can't really judge her because I've only heard your side of the story. It is clear that you don't get along with her right now, and you resent the fact that you have chosen to take on some duties that you think your mother should be doing. By the same token, raising children is a family responsibility, and if any family member is not pulling his or her weight, that person needs to be called out.
If you haven't already tried this, get your dad and mom together with you to discuss your concerns. If you think you are acting like an adult by taking on family duties, then present your case to the other adults in the family simultaneously, not one-on-one. Try not to point fingers during this meeting; just state the facts. You need to understand the dynamics among your parents and you before you make your next move.
I can see that you want to have control of your own life and just be a teenager like the rest of your peers. There is nothing wrong in wanting this - but remember that you have chosen another path for now because you feel that your mother isn't stepping up. The best you can hope for is that after you have that meeting with your folks both of your parents acknowledge your view and the strain this situation is placing on you.
Your family is lucky to have someone as responsible as you, so make sure they all know it. Take care, and good luck.
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A
female
reader, carebear  +, writes (4 June 2006):
 Hi
Why does your mum not do these things for the baby's they are hers after all is there a problem? I must agreee with martini you are doing a very good job on this I wonder who taught you? glad you have spoke to your dad and he is going to help.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2006): hi its the writer thanx so much for letting me tell you and i am glad the question got published thanx for the help i have spoke to my dad and he said that he will get them up on a morning and if i just dress them and sort them out he wll take them to nursery and pick them up. i love my dad my brother and sisters thanx xxxx so much xxxxxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2006): First of all, I'm proud of you. 8] So many kids nowadays just don't know how to appreciate anything but having a bf/gf and gossip. I know it's a bit 'unfair' that you must do all those things, but I think this is a great learning experience. It makes you stronger in many ways, probably even see things more maturely too. Reminds me of stories my mom tell me... 8]
You know, if you're not getting through to your mom, you might want to try talking with your dad about it. That is, if he is willing to listen and help you.
Also, may again say I am very proud of you... 8]
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A
female
reader, sasha93 +, writes (2 June 2006):
 well basicly your mums not worth having you or your brother and sister. have you talked to your dad about this. you cant be doing this there your mums problem not yours and if all shes going to do is sit on her back side or be with her friends shes not worth the bother.i no it mightbe hard but you ither need to stick up to your mum or leave it for her let them beg your mum ect see what she has to say if it gets any worse you cannot cave in you have to let her do it cos if you do shes just gonna know your gonna do it all the time so shes using you.this isnt your problemxxx
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