A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:For the past 2 years i have been obsessed with a female teacher and it is really affecting BOTH are lives.I think its an obsession not love, because i dont want to kiss her or anything like that- i just want to be with her all the time.I love her. But i think she hates me.Shes married, and in year 8 (im in year 10 now) i used to cry myself to sleep every night about it, but now i hve gotten over it, but still havent forgotten it, it still upsets me even though i do not wish to be her wife. She also has children.Shes always in my mind and i cnt help but talk about her to my 3 best friends, but i just drive them crazy and really annoy them. I dont even think that 2 of them like me anymore because i go on about the same subject. They say i need to let it go and forget about them, but they dont have a clue, i cant forget about her.She hates me, that makes matters worse becuase, i am 'harrasing' her. you see, i dont exactley stork her, but i go out of my own way, to find this teacher, so i can look at her. She has reported me to the ploice for 'harrasment' and i have been thretand to be arrested because i bother her too much, but only if the ploice knew how hard it is to have an obsession with a teacher
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 October 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYou lot don't have a clue do you- I'd only you knew
Alex- look you don't have a clue. You are obvisly old, forogtottn wt it was like to be a teengafer and don't have a Clue
Eyes wide wtever- you are really gettng on my nerves now you really don't no what ppl go through
and tvhe rest of you can all shut up aswell you live a million and one miles away I'm not sure how u deal with AS ppl in america, but it's obvs not the way we deal with it In England
So go do something with your lives all of you and stop giving out stupid adivse, if u ain't got sometimg nice say don't say it at all it is genrall manners .
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (29 September 2009):
 She made the "ploice" story up which also makes me wonder whether she is "storking" her at all. Maybe this teacher is blessedly unware of all of this or at least can ignore it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for all your 'advisee'???
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2009): If you value this teacher, stop this ridiculous behavior. Obsessive behavior like this could make people question her reputation, and she doesn't deserve it. She could also find herself out of a job because of your mouth.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2009): The Ploice? Isn't that a pop gorup featuirng a sniger called Sitng?
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (28 September 2009):
You should see the PM's she sent me, Uncle Phil! Sorry she's on your side of the pond, Buddy. Whew!
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2009): The voices told her to do it.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (28 September 2009):
Why are you answering your own post?
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2009): Right, given that you've just replied to your own post telling yourself to ignore good advice i'm going to assume that either this is a fake (which i hope) or you really do need therapy, and fast.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionDont listen to anyone below. They just dont understand. I do. Forget about them
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 September 2009): Imagine yourself in her situation - you have worked hard to become a good teacher and maintain a family life with children and a person that you love.Suddenly, one of your students begins to obsess over you, follow you, watch you - tell me you would feel completely comfortable with this! I cannot believe youve even harrassed her to the point of her wanting to contact the police - this is serious, you are making her life unbearable. Do you really wish that on her?EVEN if she did want something with you (which i can practically guarantee you is complete fantasy on your part) this would RUIN everything shes worked so hard to create - a relationship with a student of any kind would leave her jobless with a permanent black mark on her record, meaning shed have extreme difficulty finding another job. It would destroy her family, leave her children in a broken home, leave her with nothing but resentment and regret. You need to stop this, NOW. Try counselling - an online site is not the way to get help for this.Good luck.
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (28 September 2009):
I've only have three words of advice and I truly mean them: Therapy, Therapy, and Therapy. You need to follow this advice immediately if not sooner.
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A
female
reader, PaigeAlexxandra +, writes (28 September 2009):
 Dear Teacher-Obsessed,LET IT GO. DROP IT. Run, don't WALK away from the craziness of what you're doing; it's accelerating and won't go away until you get a SERIOUS GRIP on yourself. You can admire people, but you're putting 'dangerous' pressure on this teacher and you're going to end up somewhere that will give you PLENTY of time to think and obsess and drive yourself truly crazy because you ARE stalking her; and you're letting your young mind dream in FANTASY; since there is, nor will there be, a REALITY THAT SATISFIES YOU in this situation.Here's your opportunity to GROW UP; TO MATURE; TO ACCEPT THE PAIN YOU'RE GOING TO GET (which you brought upon yourself, but forgive yourself, since you're not going to DO what you've been doing anymore). It's hard to understand this, but your age is the ripest age for you to begin to feel your sexuality. That's great. What's not great is that you're COMPLETELY OFF THE COURSE by directing your sexual feelings toward your teacher. It's not the first time this has happened, but I can promise you, it DOESN'T WORK; and if it does, the teacher would have to be thinking like an adolescent, which she is obviously NOT, so BACK OFF!Your 3 best friends are about to teach you what a friend really is, and it's going to come as a huge surprise to you. People get sick of hearing craziness like yours over and over; keep it up and you'll find yourself obsessing with 0 friends and in a place where all you can do is think; freedom GONE. If you MUST carry on with this, then you'd better have the support of your friends, so SAY NO MORE ABOUT THIS; it's annoying ME to imagine what it's like to hear what you must say to them over and over again. "Best Friends" are only words; it's not a guarantee that they'll remain 'best' or 'friends' forever. You're driving them away so here's my suggestion for your this thing that's taken over your entire being. Do this:Write the object of your affection a letter or not or anything whenever you think about her. Force yourself to go home and write rather than follow her to LOOK at her. How would you like to live in a fishbowl? LEAVE HER ALONE. Behavior like yours causes red flags to fly; soon you'll be labeled as unstable and you're far too young to know anything about what the hell you're doing by harassing her. Write everything that's on your mind and KEEP EVERYTHING YOU WRITE IN A SAFE PRIVATE PLACE; write every single secret emotion you have, and you'll soon find yourself writing things that speak to YOU; things you don't even realize you KNOW will come screaming up at you from that paper; keep writing your heart out and be completely detailed and explicit and just see how you yourself will end up breaking this insane way of thinking, you'll go through the process of pain, but if you are committed to LIVING YOUR OWN LIFE HAPPILY AND WITHOUT BEING A THREAT TO YOURSELF, YOUR TEACHER, OR anyone in your life. You're needy and you need yourSELF- not someone else.Did you hear me? Writing will reverse everyone's lives from being ruined; ONLY if you want it to, though; and only if you GROW UP and write it all out until the truth makes you SEE; and THEN you can modify your behavior; turn the whole mess around....and it IS a mess. YOU are the only one who can fix this, and your question wasn't a question at all: It was a statement that essentially says that you KNOW you're creating destruction, you're admitting the insanity you know is happening, but you don't seem to want to know HOW TO STOP IT.First: JUST STOP IT.Second: Follow everything I wrote above.Third: Find a proper person to focus your emotions on; it'll be what it's SUPPOSED TO BE; and you'll be free to explore those things that aren't out of your reach, so your reputation as being 'psychotic' (that's what it is) over one person will vanish but YOU ARE THE ONE WHO WILL MAKE THAT CHOICE. And I've given you some great suggestions on how to pull your common sense back into your brain and carry on with your life; appropriately.If you say you 'can't'.........then you never will.If you say "I Can".............then ANYTHING is possible.Don't be stupid and speak in negatives; you're gonna keep up this nonsense until you choose to be the kind of person who you can respect; at the moment, you WANT to be hated; you WANT to be a nuisance; you WANT to push the limits and you're going to be self-tortured since you are too blind to see that you're acting ridiculous; and your self-esteem is GONE. Get it back, FAST.Alexx
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