A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I'm 18 (turning 19 in February), been crazily into the Harry Potter series since I was eight, and I've been OBSESSED with Matthew Lewis (the amazingly hot and sweet guy who plays Neville Longbottom in the series) since I was 10. I would say I'd give my virginity to meet him, but I already gave it to my boyfriend of 2 years (the relationship is rapidly falling apart). But like, my obsession with Matthew Lewis is making me want a guy who is exactly like him! Should I lower my standards or should I try and find someone who is like Matthew? Or better yet, Matthew himself!? Haha, yeah right... *sigh* I guess I'm still trying to figure out what I want in a guy. I just don't know how to do that without getting hurt too many times. I've already been insanely hurt by my boyfriend too many times to count. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, SirenaBlusera  +, writes (6 December 2008):
 No problem.
By the way, my best friend and I took the sorting hat test, as a joke really. According to the sorting hat, he belongs in Gryffindor (I knew it!).
(A series of tests put me in Slytherin, but the one on harrylatino.com says Gryffindor :))
I can relate to what you're saying about the USA. I have similar feelings about Mexico, except that I lived there for a year and in spite of the fact that Mexico sadly does have problems, I fell more in love with the culture every day. Old-fashioned values (family is #1), and the fathers raise their kids and work hard to provide for them, they treat old people right, and they teach chivalry.
My best friend is Mexican btw :)
I think you should go to England.
There's nothing wrong with thinking about a prospective mate, but you have so much to learn about yourself first. You don't even know who you are when you're young (no one does), you have to find that out for a relationship to work.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2008): Thank you so much for everything you just said, Sirena! The reason I am still with my boyfriend is because he has a $235 check from me (very long story about that) and I must remain on his good side in order for him to not screw me over. I know, horrible situation and people have told me I should report him, but it's something I must do - wait it out and pay it off, that is.
As for the Neville thing, I'm actually moving to England when I'm about 23-25 yrs old to be a nurse there and I can not wait! I honestly think I should've been born in the U.K. rather than in America. But by virtue of the sorting hat, I should be in both Hufflepuff AND Ravenclaw. Which is good, I guess, because Neville marries Hannah Abbott and Hannah is a Hufflepuff. (I will always be a loyal Neville/Luna 'shipper, though! =]) But yes, I do like how men's and women's roles have turned in American society, but at the same time, I want a guy just like Neville Longbottom! Not controlling or smothering, but brave, romantic, and faithful to me! I guess the reason I'm really freaking out about finding the one so soon is because I want two kids and I can't have that if I don't have a good father to help raise them. And I know I'm only 18 and shouldn't be thinking about that stuff right now, but I am and I've come to realize life is too short! Women sometimes reach menopause in their THIRTIES! And my mom even told me having a kid after age 35 increases the risk for your child to be born with Down Syndrome. Not that a good father is all I'm looking for (but it's definitely up there!), I'm also looking for someone who will love me and be faithful to me no matter what, in sickness and in health and all that other stuff. I've had four boyfriends in my past (dating the fourth right now) and none of them are anything that I'm looking for in a guy.
I want Neville!
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A
female
reader, dinosaurexx +, writes (5 December 2008):
 thats how i am with Elwood Blues, from the blues brothers... AKA dan aykroyd. i love everything about him, also an obsession =P id like to believe its normal..
if not then your not the only one with the problem. =)
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A
female
reader, SirenaBlusera +, writes (5 December 2008):
Hola,I'm sorry that your relationship isn't working out. I don't understand why you're staying with this guy who is hurting you repeatedly? I believe in turning the other cheek but this boyfriend continues to hurt you and it doesn't sound like he's remorseful. In my opinion you should dump him.As someone who has read all the Harry Potter stories, I think that I can offer some insight. Matthew Lewis plays a boy named Neville, who lives in Gryffindor House. Remember what makes a true Gryffindor: "Daring, nerve, and chivalry set Gryffindors apart."Are you interested in herbology? Yeah I remember he's also a whiz with herbology.You can't really be "in love" with someone that you don't know, but how you're feeling makes sense. Matthew Lewis plays a boy called Neville, who starts out as an awkward kid, but turns out to be a true Gryffindor. Could it be you're really in love with Neville? I'm saying anything is wrong with that. I'm saying that you know what he's like as a character, because you've seen the movies.You say you're trying to figure out what you want in a guy but I think that your feelings for this guy are a big clue. I'm not sure what your boyfriend has done specifically, but it's obvious that he has let you down, and there is a void there. Could it be that someone who is strong, and brave, and true... would fill that void?Unfortunately, in the USA, chivalry has almost gone the way of the dodo. Don't ever give up, though. You are only 18 and you have your life to find someone, so lowering your standards would be a mistake. It's hard to find someone who has these qualities, but lowering your standards is a HUGE mistake. When you have your whole life to find the one, there's no rush. I'm 29 and still single, and people tell me that I'm still single because I'm too picky, but I would never lower my standards. When it involves sharing my life, and my body with someone forever and ever... I'm not gonna dream of settling for someone. I'm one of those people who are determined to get what they want... perhaps that's why the sorting hat says that I belong in Slytherin.It sounds like you want a stereotypical Gryffindor, though. You should try to find a "real" guy who possesses those qualities... they are rare, but anything is better than settling for someone who treats you like dirt.
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