A
female
age
30-35,
*issLoca
writes:So I have decided to move somewhere 7 hours away from where i live now. Im moving to be with my boyfriend. I just dont know where to start. Ive never moved on my own like this before. I have a job here where I live now and could probably get this same job in the new area. I also have a 3 year old daughter. So I dont know if it would be best to get a job there first before i move her out there. He also lives with his parents still. We are going to move out together but I dont know if i should live with his parents, especially with my child. Im not sure where to start when it comes to the moving thing. And also with moving, the baby's father is not one of my issues. Just need advice on where to start. Thanks Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2012): "I also have a 3 year old daughter."
You refer to your daughter as though she is an afterthought in your plans to completely give up your life as you've known it and move hundreds of miles just to shack up with your latest boyfriend.
It is very unfair to your daughter for you to take her away from her father and grandparents, especially since you don't even know where you will be living or working.
It is also very unwise and potentially dangerous to allow an unrelated male to move in with your daughter. I'm shocked that her father and grandparents are not loudly and strenuously objecting to your intention to remove her from their lives.
If you are so desperate to shack up with this guy, then do what's best for your daughter and leave her behind with her father or your parents, family she knows and loves and people whom you know you can entrust her care. You can still fulfill your financial obligation to her by agreeing to pay monthly child support to whomever acts as her long-distance custodian.
If you want to risk an unstable and uncertain future by running off to shack up with a guy you probably barely know, that's your perogative. For your daughter's sake, do not subject her to the same risk.
In the quaint old-fashioned world where I grew up eons ago, parents always put their children's best interests first.
A
female
reader, MissLoca +, writes (4 April 2012):
MissLoca is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYess. his parents said it would be ok with them. I know I should get a job first but how do i do that? Do i apply now and tell them I cant start for another 2 weeks or so? Or do I move down there and then try and find a job? Financially, Im not doing soo great. Im living like paycheck to paycheck pretty much. Im not making very much for the company Im working for. I do know that if I stay in my same career in the new place I will be making enough money to support me and my child.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2012): "I also have a 3 year old daughter."
You are referring to your daughter as though she is an afterthought.
Do not move a three-year-old girl hundreds of miles away from her father and her grandparents and in with an unrelated male and perhaps other assorted legal strangers who are not legally related to her by marriage, blood or adoption.
If you are so desperate that you are willing to give up your life as you know it to shack up with this guy, don't doom your daughter to the same likely unhappy fate. Do what's best for her and sign over custody to her father or your parents while you agree to pay child support, leave your daughter in the hands of people who will put the child's intersts first. You obviously aren't/don't/won't.
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