A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I'm a freshman in college.I enrolled into an English class last minute, I was assigned an older professor, mid thirties. I get to the class and it's a young woman about 24 years old, the professor. I was supposed have dropped out. The minute I saw her I was in awe.I thought it was fate. Months have went by and I finally built enough courage to talk to her, we exchanged our love for this lesbian author. We then started to take the same train and had amazing conversations about literature and other personal stuff. We exchanged books that we thought one might want to read. She mentioned coffee a few times as well, and suggested we could be friends outside of class. Throughout those few days of spending time together she has opened up, she has been more comfortable around me, physically touching me in flirty ways, such as asking me to feel her temparture cause she might be coming down with a cold or nudging me because I said something funny. She constantly compliments my intelligence and doesn't stop laughing at my dry humor. The last day of class approached and she gave me back my book I lent her, and said she'll email me for coffee. A month later I did receive an email about books I should read and suggested we meet up to discuss them. In the email she apologized for taking so long and hoped I was doing well. I got back to her and said I would love to meet up, she responded when she will be on campus and suggested we meet up around there after class. I picked an exact date, it's coming up, I need some advice. I'm not sure if she's into me romantically or friendly but, how to do I go about it without scaring her away.Things I should mention when we meet up? How should I act? She knows I'm gay by the way, she's no longer my professor either and I'm 19 years old.
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female
reader, Campari Milano  +, writes (26 February 2017):
She might not be YOUR professor, but she is still a professor at your college, correct?
The only way this goes is badly. You know whatever we all say won't make a blind bit of difference.
You are actually asking advice on how to hit on your professor!
Has it even occurred to you that even if she feels the sme way, she is trying to restrain herself because an incident like this could ruin her entire career?
How selfish can you be?!
Leave her alone.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2017): Well, first of all, it's a good thing she is no longer your professor. That would have been complicated to say the least. However, I must ask, is she still a professor at your college? Is she employed by the college? A professor to other students but not to you? Because if she is, it could still be a tricky situation as there are rules of conduct to abide by, especially for professors who cross the line by becoming involved with their students. She could lose her job and reputation. I am not sure what the rules are for your college. But certainly involvement with a professor must have some consequences? I must say however that she was rather chummy with you as a "student" and in my opinion was straddling professional boundaries. So, therefore I am not quite comfortable with her actions altogether. Is it just friendly or is it friendly with intention? Having cautioned you this way, here is the advice to your question specifically.How should you act? Just be yourself. Don't change.It seems you have had a good relationship so far. It will just be an extension of this.Once you meet and have official one on one time, you will better be able to gauge her intentions.It's like a tango.She says something and you reciprocate or vice versa. Things are said intentionally or not said intentionally. You need to follow her lead and just hang back. But be subtle and not overt.You won't know until the moment.So, just relax and let things unfold as they do. Naturally. Never plan and never have expectations.Whatever is meant to be, will be.However, just realize you are in a precarious position. Please think through the consequences of your actions or potential actions. I think she needs to do the same.
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