A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: My Gf and I have been dating for just over 2 and a half years.We both work, and she also has a 3 year old daughter which I love to bits,although she is not mine. I love my Gf,but not sure if she feels the same way about me.We only see each other friday nights and Saturdays, and sometimes on a sunday.She only lives about 15mins away.We dont see each other in the week because she says she's tired from work, and she has to see to her daughter,fair enough,i kind of understand.Sometimes i dont even see her fridays,because shes once again,tired.Also sometimes when we're together friday or saturday nights,she falls asleep,then i'll leave.We also hardly never go out alone if i ask her,because she doesnt like asking her mum to baby sit,also understandable.Its like she cuts down on the little time we already spend together.Now,on the other hand,when she has a work outing or social after work, on a week day,she doesnt mind asking her mum to baby sit, and she doesnt mind coming home after midnight.She will also suggest places where her and work colleagues could hang out after work,but she never suggests that we should go out somewhere.But on the other hand,she says she wants to get engaged and married to me and she loves me.I dont know what to make of this.Im not sure we're on the same page. Need some advice.
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female
reader, Aunty Honest +, writes (24 February 2011):
Dear Anonymous,
Sounds like your girlfriend is sending you some very mixed messages. Perhaps she has become so comfortable with you she has become a bit complacent. I can understand your confusion.
The only way to deal with this is communication. Tell her you love her but that you need more than what she's giving. Be completely honest. If she's unable to give you what you need, then perhpas you want different things and painful as it is you aren't compatible enough. Perhaps she hasn't realised how you're feeling, and just needs a firm nudge in the right direction.
Only one way to find out.
All the best.
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