A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi I'm not sure if my boyfriend would be considered an emotional psychopath/manipulater. I am quite insecure and hyper vigilant so I'm not sure if I'm being paranoid or not. He is a personal trainer and has told me that he has to use some form of manipulation to get the best out of his clients. But that he doesn't manipulate me (when I asked) because it's not a nice thing to do. He encouraged me to go to therapy when I started having PTSD symptoms from previous relationship and bullying. He says he just wants me to be strong and happy and not focus on him so much. My insecurities caused me to be a bit clingy. He also admitted to me once that he never feels very strong emotions.The start of our relationship seemed to echo that of an emotionally/physically intense psychopathic relationship. I know he has been a bit manipulative in certain things (as have I I'm sure) but I just don't know if it's me or him! He's a great guy in my opinion but very smart and self aware.
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female
reader, Intrigued3000  +, writes (6 February 2014):
 I agree with honeypie. He sounds a bit narcissistic, but I don't think he is a psychopath. If you have a tendency to be with guys who make you feel like something is wrong with you or that you are not good enough, then you need to figure out the root cause and heal it. It's not going to be easy. People struggle with these issues their entire life. Therapy will help you to figure out what the pattern is and why you keep repeating it.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (6 February 2014):
 he's full of himself that's for sure.
by telling you he's manipulative he's got you guessing.
the fact that he thinks he has to manipulate his clients to do what they want means either he's a lousy trainer or he doesn't really understand manipulation. Goals and such are extremely personal and they have to be driven internally... manipulation will not work long term nor is it a good thing to be proud of.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (6 February 2014):
 He sounds less manipulative and more.. egocentric.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2014): Op here...Examples include: - not feeling emotions strongly (he said once that one of the biggest compliments he could give me was that he was with me because I make him happy but that he doesn't always 'get' the whole falling in love and strong emotional side of it) - when we argue he turns things on me and picks out my faults - never really taking blame or makes excuses for things- admits that he manipulated his exes to get back together with him after breaking up with them- he kissed a girl while on a night out after a big fight we had and says that my insecurities and controlling ways were a cause- big ego very driven- very confident - 'superhuman!'- talks a lot- affection usually on his turns- believes marriage is just a way of making it harder to walk away if problems occur- had one ex that he found it hard to get over because she was the one in control, not on his terms- knows how to read people very well- playful- relationship moved fast- rolls eyes if I bring up a subject that he doesn't necessarily want to talk about (usually me being insecure or jealous)I know these are all negative - I mean other than this, he's always said he wants me to be happy, encourages me to go out and enjoy myself, encourages me to be the best that I can be, plans for the future, we laugh a lot, get along very well, good sex life, strong attraction, he pushes me to be stronger person (says he needs a strong person to be able to handle him!), willing to communicate, he says he's very rational and thinks about everything
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A
female
reader, Intrigued3000 +, writes (6 February 2014):
You need to give examples of his manipulation. From what you've written, which is very vague, I would say that you're being paranoid, probably a symptom of the PTSD. Therapy is a good thing and will help you to sort out your emotions and analyse your fears.
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A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (6 February 2014):
 You didn't really give any details to go off of. Sounds like he just wants you to work towards over coming your past. Perhaps motivator is a better term than manipulator. basically, he gets paid to inspire change in individuals. That's what it sounds like he was simply trying to do with you; inspire you to overcome your issues.
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