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I'm not sure if I should tell my friend I like her?

Tagged as: Crushes, Friends, Gay relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (20 June 2016) 2 Answers - (Newest, 25 July 2017)
A female United Kingdom age 26-29, anonymous writes:

Hi this is probably going to be a long post but I'm not sure if I should tell my friend that I like her.

It started when we were having a girls night and we both mentionned how we were both bisexual but hadnt ever kissed a girl in a non-platonic way and since uni is a time to experiment she suggested that at some point that night we should kiss.

Later that night I was incredibly drunk and then out of nowhere she kissed me and being drunk and confused it was naturally terrible. She then went to go talk to her boyfriend who seemed a bit annoyed by it.

A couple weeks later she apologised for taking advantage of my drunkeness (even though we had planned to kiss beforehand) and said that because I was drunk it wasnt great and she thought that I would be a good kisser sober and that we should kiss again, so we did and it was great

The next day her boyfriend was quite angry at her despite her telling me he was ok with it and so I apologised as I genuinely believed he was ok with it and I felt bad that, that was not the cases. He seemed to accept that and we went back to being friends as he did not see me as being in the wrong especially as I was so drunk the first time.

The next week I was hanging out with him and his friends and they were teasing him about something, he then confessed to me that his girlfriend (the girl I like) had suggested a threesome with me and that although he thought I was conventionally attractive he said no meaning no offence to me he just didnt think it was a good idea which i agreed with, he also told me that he didn't want me kissing her anymore which I completely agreed with and we parted as friends

See now he's leaving and whilst I like him as a person I can't see them working out and want to tell her how I feel but I dont want to be experimented or used anymore. I'm not sure whether to tell her I like her or not as I'm also not sure whether his leaving will mean the end of their relationship or not and he really is a good guy just not for her

View related questions: drunk, kisser, kissing, teasing, threesome

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A female reader, anyonymoustennisgirl United States +, writes (25 July 2017):

My guess is that she knows you like her and she may like you back, but more as an attraction.

She may want to be with you, but she doesn't want to lose her boyfriend either. I would ride out the situation and let her and her boyfriend drift apart naturally. I'm not saying go in and be her rebound, because that would be inconsiderate.

Let her move on before you give her the thought of a relationship with you. If you both feel the same way at this point, congrats! GET TOGETHER ALREADY!!!

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (20 June 2016):

Honeypie agony auntShe knows. And while the BF might be leaving... he isn't gone yet. And you don't know if they are doing some LDR or whatnot.

Secondly.... She was using you as a guinea pig. She already had a BF, but disregarded how HE might feel about her kissing someone else (boy or girl is irrelevant).

Seems like she is the kind of person who lets her libido guide her, with little respect and care for how the people might feel. You and/or her BF. That seems like a selfish person to me.

If someone wants to experiment sexually, either they partner NEEDS to be OK with it... OR they should be single. Hurting others because they just don't give a fly's fart is just not the signs of a good person.

So if you are looking for a girl to hook up with - SHE isn't it. Find yourself someone who is single.

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