A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:So this may sound corny, but i just dont want to mess things up. i began a job back in june delivering auto parts to a small chain of car shops. in one of the stores i began a friendly relationship with one of the counter girls. She knows that i like her and was working my way up to asking her out after work. Because of this virus slowing down businesses, she either quit or got let go. All i know is that she texted me last monday and asked if i was working tomorrow when she knows i dont work tuesdays. I'm guessing she wanted to see me before her last day which i found out was either tuesday or wednesday. i dont want to call her because if she was fired, the last person she wants to hear from is me...at the same time, now that she's not with us, i dont have to be on my best behavior with this sexual harassment on the job thing. My employer makes us all take a video course on sex harassment and it makes communicating between guy and girl on the job awkward...so finally, my question. very simple. should i call her right away to let her know i've been into her all this time or should i just let it go and hope she'll call one day?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2020): If you havent replied to her message yet you can message her now and apologise for not replying earlier and hope she will reply back and start a conversation. Be brave. Faint heart never won fair lady.
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (22 March 2020):
 Op, thank you for explaining what you meant. I now understand better. Sadly we live in a ridiculously litigious society where we can easily fall foul of rules we didn't even realize existed.
That aside, I do hope you have contacted this lady now?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2020): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYoucannotbeserious....my "best behavior" comment is based on the fact that we have to be very careful what we say in the workforce.
Did you know that telling a lady coworker "that blouse looks good on you" is considered sexual harassment?
Under the labor guidlines, you are making a comment on a womans appearance.
And even though you meant it as a compliment, she can find it offensive.
This is what we have to deal with once you take the sexual harassment course.
Because once you complete the course, you know what you can and cannot do on the job. So yeah you have to be on your best behavior.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (21 March 2020):
Why would she not want to hear from you if she was "fired"? (Can't see she will have been actually fired, rather made redundant/laid off - huge difference.) Whatever the case, you were not responsible for her losing her job so she has no ax to grind with you.
In answer to your question, how about a half-way course of action? Rather than waiting for her to contact you (she may assume your lack of contact means you are not bothered) or telling her you are "into" her (a bit uncouth and puts her on the spot), why not text her something like "I was sorry to see you have lost your job. Hope you are keeping well. Would love to chat if you are up for it." The ball is then entirely in her court.
Just to add, just because she is no longer a customer/work colleague does not absolve you from needing to be on your "best behaviour". I hope that comment is not meant to be as sinister as it sounded.
Good luck.
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