A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I will say this will be quite long.I live in a small town and I am very friendly to everyone I know and see around. That is my nature, kind and caring. Sometimes doing too much for people meaning people can take advantage. I am usually well equipped with how to deal with people however I am very stuck currently.A girl who just moved to the area as she is travelling became friends with me. I wanted to help her as much as I could, show her things in the area, help her just be a nice person. I had no specific reason only because I thought she was a laugh and we got on very well.However I regretted this when she began to discuss her life more with me, I have never been friends with someone so carefree and easy going. Some of my friends are easy going but underneath they're so complex. She was bi-curious and I am bi and we began down that road which was for her 'fun' but for me I take care in those situations because of being hurt in the past with being a tester. Fast forward and she begins talking to me more in that way however she changes her mind and says she wanted to try it but can't do such things unless she is drunk baring in mind she want drunk barely with all this.She likes to never take any blame for any hurt she causes which was apparent when I sent her a long message about how upset I have been lately to which she replied that my long messages are 'full of sh#t'.I was shocked but continued to be at her beck and call.She had some friends visiting her during the summer and she said she wanted us to all meet up but this never transpired even though I saw her in town.. With her friends, don't know if she saw me.Then I saw her today knowing that I know she saw me before I saw her and her friends. However as soon as I saw them I moved away from them as she hasn't spoken to me in days because she obviously doesn't care about me. She said where did I go but I proceeded to send her a message about how I mean nothing to her and can't be treated this way, I'm not talking to you. But she replies with babe and she just knows how to get me to give in. I haven't replied. I've done so much for her but all I've got back is crap and I can't take anymore but the problem is I really like her. But I don't know what I like about her. All she has done is hurt me but I find her so desirable but she is into drugs and just completely different to any person I've ever known. I know I'm stupid for feeling this way but I keep repeating myself to my friends and I can't keep bothering them. Ideal world I would want her but that's not happening but because I want it I'm excusing her behaviour. Please help me here as I'm at the end of the line.
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female
reader, femmenoir  +, writes (19 August 2015):
 Hi,i would strongly advise you, to stay away from this other female.You may like her and that's ok, you cannot help how you feel, but beware.You know the saying, stay away from toxic energy.Well, i would strongly advise you to do this. She is too toxic and stressful for you to handle.She will eventually, if not already, seep you of all your energy, both physical and mental. The mental is the most dangerous part, once it's affected.One of the primary reasons that she, in a way, uses you, treats you badly, is because you're too available, too damn good to her. You gave her the green light long ago.I ask you, why?As they say, know your own self-worth. Love thyself.If you learn to love yourself more, you simply will not tolerate crap from anybody else.She treats you in some ways, like a bag of dirt, like a bowl of left over dessert, seriously.Please do not communicate with her anymore, she is so not worth it and when she sees that you've pushed her out of your life, she'll have learnt a great lesson and she'll know that you're onto her and that she cannot treat people any old way.All the best and please let me know how you get on. :-)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2015): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you. That is very true. I really appreciate your words but you're right I fancy her like mad she's very desirable to me but she knows it as well!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (8 August 2015):
 You don't OWE her anything. She really doesn't OWE you anything either. She doesn't even think she did anything wrong, which means... HOW she treated you... is HOW she treats SOME people.
How do you be strong? You CUT her off.
Help yourself out for a change. Don't accept people treating you like crap because they are also attractive or cool.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2015): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI mean I hate feeling used but I don't really mind as I enjoy her company but I don't even know I feel torn...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2015): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your reply I appreciate that so much. I just feel some sort of duty to be there for her but I know she's so selfish and has admitted she is. I told her straight yesterday that I was angry with her treating me like nothing when others are around.
She replied saying she think she's done nothing wrong but I haven't replied but I'm sure when they're gone she will come back to me but I don't know how to be strong and not give in because I genuinely like her so much but why do I like her, do you know?!
How do I be strong?
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (7 August 2015):
Why not simply block her number? BE done with her? She is NOT a friend, she is not a potential date/partner.
She took advantage of you and your friendly nature for as long as it benefited HER, when you got upset that she DID use you as a "tester" she back away a bit and focused on her own friends.
You are wasting your time on this one.
You can't change who she is. She has no intentions of changing who she is.
Doing things for people doesn't mean you are OWED that they do something in return. In GOOD and HEALTHY friendships it's the norm to give and receive. But what she saw was a nice and gullible girl who was fun to hang with, mess with and then "dump" till further notice.
Chalk it up to a mistake. You misjudged her character, it happens - now that you see the REAL her... why would you want anything to do with her?
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