A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, i really need some advice.There's this guy i've been talkin to on msn who lives local. Apparently he really likes me, and i think i like him too but he comes across as really obsessive... he often rings me, emails me etc. And it does become rather irratating! He wants me to meet him for the first time perhaps next week.. (i'm 16, he's 17) but i don't know if i should or not! I'm quite nervous to be honest! and he doesn't even seem my type and currently i've been struggling to get over this man who i've been head-over-heals for, for about 18 months - and that's a problem in itself! I can never be with him due to the circumstances which really devastate me but i'm learning to cope better with the situation!I can't really summarise this into one question. But any advice would be great!
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2008): CAUTION!! You never really know who it is on the other end. There are sooo many weirdos out there, and it could be extremely dangerous.If you never met him, how can you really be attached to him?Do you know who I am, or what I am, just by reading this? Am I ugly, or nice looking? Am I a woman or a man? Am I educated? Do I have a job? Am I young or old? Am I sane or some lunatic? Am I SAFE or Dangerous?
A
female
reader, scrazy  +, writes (21 July 2008):
 When in doubt, don't do it. Your gut is telling you that you're not sure if this guy is the right one for you and with his obsessive personality?
It sounds like it would be best if you asked him to leave you alone for a bit. If he doesn't give you space, but instead obsesses some more over you? You need to tell him to stop or just ignore his phone calls until he realizes you're serious.
Are you positive that he's 17? I don't trust pictures; he could be using some random teen's picture from facebook or myspace. He could be a creepy 45 year old for all you know!
Sweetie, all the warning signs are there. Don't do it.
Take Care
XO
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A
female
reader, lostinluv  +, writes (21 July 2008):
well, to be honest. i did meet a friend from the net before, and we ended up as being real good friends. but there's a lot of liar and fakers out there in the internet world. did u webcam with him before? don't rely on pictures as well unless it's from facebook with lots of friends comments and testimonies to prove that it is him in that picture. Do ur research first. But only meet up if u think it's worth it, he doesn't come across as being worth all the touble and risk as u already find his behaviour annoying and irritating.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (21 July 2008):
 I'd go with my gut feeling, which I assume from your post is to not meet up with the guy. If he irritates you now think what he might be like if you get in a 'real' relationship. trust your instincts on this one.
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A
female
reader, TELLULAH +, writes (21 July 2008):
 Hi sweetie,
Is it safe to meet up with him?. How do you know that he's only 17, he could be 47 for all you know.
Surely at your age its easy to go out with your mates and meet boys (ones that you can see are the same age as yourself).
If he sounds obsessive before he has met you, it doesnt bode well for the future now does it?
I would keep clear, he sounds a bit strange.
XXX
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (21 July 2008):
Well if you are not sure about meeting this guy then don't do it. But if you just aren't sure because you secretly just want your ex then that is not an excuse.
I personally would go and meet this guy, but make it clear you are not ready for a serious relationship. Tell him you just want to see him and have fun with him (hanging out and having a laugh fun, not sex) but you aren't ready to be a girlfriend. That way if he isn't your type and you decide you don't like him like that then you won't hurt him as you have told him up front that you are just mates.
If he calls and obsesses tell him to stop it, or just ignore him until he gets the message.
You have to be open to meeting new people or you'll never fully get over the guy you are in love with. Go out and have fun. It's just a date, it's not marriage.
Good Luck!! xx
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