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male
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*ohnny1988
writes: I am feeling lost because of events that have happened today. My gf of ten months broke up with me today and says that she doesnt feel ready for a relationship. I can deal with this, and we have agreed to become friends, but the problem is that i beleive we both still have feelings for each other.I am dealing with it okay, and i told her to visit me if she felt bored, but didnt expect her to. She eventually showed up later in my shift when i was running the store alone, we talked for a bit, a bit akward, but still fine and then i asked her if she felt like she made the right choice and she began to cry. We talked a lot and she made it clear she didnt want to get back together, but i am not sure if she is lying or not? What should i do, i love this girl dearly and dont want it to end, but should i only hope for friendship, or can more be instore?
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2006): It sounds like her reasons for breaking up with you are causing her some pain. Why else would she cry when you asked her a question like that? Perhaps she cheated or met someone else and feels guilty so she thought her only option was to leave you. Or maybe it was something you did or didn't do during the relationship that she had had enough of, so it hurts her to know she's sacrificing the good in order to get rid of the bad. The second choice is most likely. Either way, it sounds like she is aware of how you feel and is tempted to go back to you, but something is holding her back. I suggest that you let her be. Don't attempt to make contact with her. You don't want to look desperate. Let her come around to you when she feels like it (which she most likely will sooner or later), and let her lead the conversation topic. Embrace her with open arms when she comes to you and be a good listener. That'll have her thinking, "wow, he's so understanding and supportive, why did I ever leave him?" However, in the worst case scenerio, she may have some personal issues that are keeping her from being with you or from being committed. It's really hard to say in this situation. She's sort of straddling the fence here, so it's not easy to tell where she stands. I'd say just give her time and space and let her come to you. It's really all you can do right now. In the meantime, keep yourself happy and distracted. Go out with friends and keep busy. Take up some hobbies or classes you're interested in. The happier you are, the more appealing you are. You may even meet someone else. You never know. I wish you the best of luck and I hope everything works out okay in the end. Stay strong!
~RJGirl
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