A  ,
*nr_06
writes:Okay it seems that everytime I start talking to a guy it always seem to last for about 2-3 weeks and I feel real hurt because thats when I become close to them. I feel that these guys that I get involved with only want me for one thing......and I dont want to send that kind of message. I'm more of a relationship type of girl than a hook up. What can I do so that guys wont see me as just a hookup? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, kirstylouise  +, writes (2 August 2006):
Hi there, have you thought about not giving into the guys physical demands? The reason they might see you as a 'hook up' is because your giving them exactely what they want. Sometimes a guy likes the idea of a chase therefore hold off doing anything to physical until you get to know him properly and he gets to know you - you never know he might not be the sort of guy your interest in having a relationship with anyway. I think you could look at where you are meeting these guys, what you wear, your body language - these are all little things that could give these guys the wrong idea about you. You seem to be a really lovely girl and I really hope you meet someone that is worthy of your love, time and energy. take care xxx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2006): Are you meeting these guys in similar places? If so maybe they are similar kinds of guys that are not looking for relationships?
Unless you are making it obvious that you -arn't- looking for a relationship, you shouldn't blame yourself for -them- getting the wrong kind of message.
I think it is quite normal when you are single, and meeting people, that a majority of them are looking for something different than you are, and then out of the minority left, most of those are unsuitable and the rare few left out of those are the kind of guys you want.
What I am saying is that it is normal to meet a lot of unsuitable people, have you heard the phrase "You have to kiss a lot of frogs, before you find a prince"? That it why it is important to not get too "involved" (and consequently hurt) until you feel like you know them better, and know that they want the same things that you do and that they are taking a genuine interest in you as a person.
Keep looking and I am sure you will come across a guy who wants a relationship like you, and who sees you in a special way and who wants to get to know you. You don't need to change at all, just be yourself, and it'll happen.
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