A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:http://www.dearcupid.org/question/my-girlfriend-gave-her-ex-blow-jobs-why.htmlA male reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2007): It is "disgusting"... Why would i find it to not be "disgusting"?. Yes when she does it to me that fine because its me, Like my girlfriend said to me... Its hard to think of "me with someone else" why would i get pleasure in thinking about her and someone else? The thought of the act is "disgusting" it was probally very good or special and enjoyable but thinking about it is "disgusting". Also yes i haven't had a previous sexual relationship but, I don't think i would say im missing out or wanting to have had one. lastly if you where told about something like this and you knew too much information such as what the guy looks like, his name, where he works, how long they went out etc... with other information such as things they did together and places they've done it... all this information is hard to process/deal with. Im not saying its wrong to have a past or anything like that, its dealing with what you know... because in the back of my mind there is always going to be the memorys that she has shared with me. how would you deal with it? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2007): original poster - Thanks for the responces... Jubbaloo and the second anonymous writer who felt the same, those where good answers and i do need to focus on the here and now. Im glad that in not the only person who would think "thats disgusting" as i was told before when i posted the answer that it wasn't "disgusting" but why would i think its a great thing.... the image not the act as i said before.
Its a shame that people share there pasts as its something i would rather be kept in the dark about :P
thanks again for the posts.
although the "You have security issues and self esteem issues." was a bit harsh because.... would you like to be told in detail about something your boyfriend did to an ex girlfriend? im thinking not...
oh and lastly it has nothing to do with being an EX i've met other EX's of hers and also went to school with one of them but!!!!! she has only told me about things she did with this one guy.
A
female
reader, Suzie767 +, writes (2 June 2007):
 i have this same problem.
my guy is 11 years older than me and basically just rubbed my face in his past when we first met. i understand that everyone has a past( i do myself- i wasnt a virgin when we met) so i tried to get over it
but he reallly did go to far and i have a VERY active imagination and im also finding it hard to deal with this
im sorry i cant really give you any advise all i can say is unless you activeley seek out a girl who is a virgin and has no sexual history whatsoever you are going to encounter this problem in every relationship you have- it might be worth while talking things over with her- this conversation will be very painful but it might clear the air and help your feelings
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2007): the past that you know of never disappears.
its been 2 years for me, and i still have nightmares and gross disturbing images knowing of things my ex did.
run while you can. i'm sorry it has to be this way, but it's difficult.
yes we all have a past, but no, we shouldn't have to deal with others pasts. i still am haunted by things, and her and i aren't even together anymore. it's really difficult and it sucks, and i'm sorry. but this is reality.
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A
male
reader, Jubbaloo +, writes (1 June 2007):
 Your young, just like i am, and i know how you feel to be trapped. If your girlfriend is permanantly talking about past relationships, ask her not to, if it is making you feel uncomfortable then she should understand. The past is what builds us into the people who we are, but the present is what matters. Enjoy life, keep talking to each other, and there are always such things as Threesomes and other sexual acts you could try to enable you to experience more things, but as a couple.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2007): I was very sexually inexperienced when I met my boyfriend but he was very experienced. He doesnt discuss his past sex life often but he had a scorned ex girlfriend who took great pleasure in telling people when they were together "he lived down there" as in he loved giving her oral sex. This was difficult to deal with and I used to suffer horrific mental pictures. But after a while I didnt take any notice and the feeling of disgust does pass I promise!You shouldnt have to listen to her stories though. Just say, I know you went out with him but I am not intrested in hearing about it thank you. She wont find it easy to find a man that would want to listen to her past exploits with someone else.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2007): You have security issues and self esteem issues. Everyone has past lovers. You are the one she's with now. Did she even know you when she was with those other people, and if she did, how was she to know you and she were going to be together some day? You need to forget about this. It's not as though she were a hooker or something degrading like that. If you're always thinking about her past, how can you move on to your future with her? Or maybe you're subconsciously sabotaging your future with her because you are scared, or aren't ready to commit? I really wouldn't want my boyfriend thinking about me with my ex boyfriends, and he was once friends with someone I dated for 5 yrs. He never brings him up, and if he did it would make me very uncomfortable, and mad. You're with her now, so act like it.
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