A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi. Need advice.Basically I am in a 1.5 year relationship with my girlfriend. She is always pressuring me for marriage. I do not want that yet but definitely in the future. I am always in lust with a lot of other women. I think that might be the reason. I have kissed another girl and taken numbers but never called so basically I have cheated on her but it never anything more than that. I have been raped by a man and woman when I was young I think that might be a reason for my sexual desire for other women? I am somewhat homophobic. My girlfriend doesn't know these things. Should I tell her? I do enjoy her company she's like my best friend but more. Or should I seek psychological help?
View related questions:
best friend Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, crawldaddy  +, writes (1 July 2014):
wow dude first thing is get some help for the rape incident might be a big reason your homophobic, because if you know who you are you need have no fear about who anyone else is. If you are not ready to get married be honest with her and talk about expectations of both parties concerning marriage please make them realistic. Who knows she may not really want to get married herself, could just be family or peer pressure.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (1 July 2014):
 Counseling for RAPE is ALWAYS a good thing. Do you HAVE to tell your GF? np, but it might make her understand you better. As I see it, IF YOU want to SHARE that part of your past with her it is YOUR choice. It's not a must.
My question to you is this.
You say :"She is always pressuring me for marriage. I do not want that yet but definitely in the future."
I get that you some time down the line wants to get married, BUT do you want to be married to HER? Your GF?
I think you like the idea of marriage, but you don't feel ready yet (nothing wrong in that) BUT you are dating a girl who's goal/wish is to be married. So have you asked her how long down the line she is expecting matrimony? Have you considered how LONG til you want to get married?
My guess is that you are at the age where you are scared you might miss out on stuff - sex with other girls - love with someone else - fantasies and so forth. YOU are taking your GF for granted. Because YOU know she wants marriage you think a little lusting and kissing others girls is OK because you got your GF pegged.
I DO think that RAPE can mess with a persons attitude towards promiscuity and sex in general. So , I DO think that your actions CAN have root in your past experience and that is why you ought to consider counseling.
...............................
|
