A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I recently met a man online. We hit it off and dated several times. I had just recently lost my husband to death and was vulnerable and lonely. I have told him over and over that I was not ready to love any man right now. He has declared his love for me and it makes me uncomfortable. We have had sex and it was great but to me was only sex. Now he is pushing for an exclusive relationship. I feel bad as I feel as though I have misled him. He texts me constantly and most of the time I answer but he seems take my remarks the wrong way. For example: I told him I would not tell anyway I loved them until it was true and I meant it. His remark to this was,"I am a patient man, if we can just be friends, he would accept that." I do not believe he would accept this as it says I have given him hope for happiness (he was cheated on by a former girlfriend) and he will not push me. I do not want to talk to him everyday, nor text 6 - 8 times a day. He is really a very special guy and if I weren't so unemotionally unavailable right now, I would jump at the chance t be with him exclusively. I have thought about not answering his texts and to be short and brief in my answers without giving him any reason to think it can be more than it is. What should I do? I am not ready for an exclusive deal and want to date other men. Please give me some advice!!!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2013): More than likely you will have to break it off with him since he's not getting it.It's your business if you want to date others right now, and that's fine. He's thrown off because you had sex with him and for most women, that means something, so that signal was mixed with him. He's chasing you because you are not making it easy for him and he apparently really likes you a lot. That is a bit much so soon, not a good sign sometimes with some men.I had a situation like this once and was very honest and upfront about where I was at when I met him. I had no interest in a serious relationship and had a past relationship to let go of. He was determined to change my mind. I give the guy credit for trying and I admired his expressing how he felt, but it was too much for me and I was feeling smothered and just not in the same place as him. I did have to end it all together because casual dating was not what he wanted and he just kept pushing until I was getting annoyed. Years later he did meet someone else and got married. We ran into each other and talked for quite a while. I apologized for how I treated him and he understood where I was coming from. No hard feelings and life went on, but we had a much better closure then how it went down at the time.Just continue to be honest and tactful. If he can't accept what you have to offer, then just end it all together.
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (12 June 2013):
 Don't try to sugar coat it with this guy, he won't get it. You've told him the truth now just back up your words.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2013): It sounds like you made yourself very clear, but he isn't listening. You have nothing to feel bad over, you were honest and upfront and he knows the situation.
He sounds clingy, and you might have to break it off all together, because it doesn't seem to be getting through to him.
Tell him that it is too much too soon & it isn't what you are looking for at this time and that you are going to date other men. You were honest & you don't owe him anything. You need to take care of yourself and heal and he doesn't sound like he is being very respectful of your feelings.
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