A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hiya I was with my ex boyfriend over 2 year we split up 6 years ago and I still can’t get over him I was completely in love with him but I was young and didn’t know how to express it he was 8 years older than me I was 26 he was 32 he didn’t treat me very good but I see him about all the time and I still feel completely in love with him when I see him I’m now in a relationship for a few years but I still feel numb I know it’s not fair on my current partner but I don’t know what to do I can’t bring myself to talk to my ex even though I would love to what do I do I feel so confused
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female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (31 March 2018):
 Why are you still pining for someone who treated you badly? Do you, by any chance, believe that the only "love" worth having is one which you have to fight for all the time? Did you have to "earn" your parents' love? If your ex didn't treat you well, why are you blaming your immaturity for the split? It all sounds very confusing.
Whatever the case, your boyfriend does not deserve to have his time wasted if you feel nothing for him. Let him go so he can find someone who will love him back.
Taking so long to get over an ex is not "normal", even if he was (I am guessing) your first serious relationship. It takes 2 people to make a relationship work. Ask yourself honestly if it was totally YOUR fault the relationship broke down. I am sure he contributed towards its downfall in part, just as you probably did. If you went back to him, you would be opening yourself to going through all that again unless the real reasons you split up are no longer valid. Is that what you want?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 March 2018): I'm sorry, but if you feel numb; you cannot hold another person your emotional-hostage. You must let him go. He has committed to you and you are using him. You feel nothing for him, so it isn't fair.
Your ex is living his life and you are a memory. It is unhealthy to remain in a state of obsession pining over someone long gone from your life. If you need help, you should seek grief-counseling to help you let go and move on.
To mislead someone to make you think you love them is cruel.
Eventually he will figure it out anyway. You can't fake-it indefinitely.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (29 March 2018):
 You need to break up with this guy and get therapy to find out why you haven't moved on in 6 years.
The guy was your first serious relationship, presumably, but he's probably moved on and you should have too. You've been hung up on him for three times as long as you were together! That's not healthy, OP. Please find someone to help you move forward and not waste more time pining after a long lost ex.
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