A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I have currently been in an relationship for nearly two years but cannot stop thinking about my ex, we broke up nearly 4 years ago and I have had 2 bf since him but I always find myself comparing everyone to him. Me and my ex were still very close after we broke up but stopped talking regularly when he got a new gf, this was about a year after we broke up, she doesn't like me, not sure why. My ex still tells me he loves me and would do anything for me, always saying he will never love anyone as much as me! I don't know what to do, when I think about my future it's always with him. Please helpOne lost puppy!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2011): I get the feeling you would get back with him if he gave the green light. Question is why hasn't he? Might be he doesn't truly mean what he says and likes to keep you as a fall back from being alone if he gets broken up with. You would go away if he did not say the things he said so the words serve a purpose for him.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2011): I think you need a break, it might be an idea to really honestly think about the situation. Why did you break up with him in the first place? Would that still be a problem in a rekindled relationship? What would be good about going out with him again, what would be bad? Are you happy un your current relationship? Do you want to end? You get the picture. Could you trying going away for the weekend and thinking about where you don't have to worry about anything else. The only person who can solve this is you because it is only you that knows every little detail about you, and you history. I hope this helps, and that you manage to solve it with out making a mistake. Life is hard. Loves harder. But love makes everything worth while. Just try and make it work you while. Good luck! x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2011): You can't carry on like this. It is hopeless. You will never be able to set your ex into the past until you and he really talk about whether you have feelings for each other and if you should do anything about it. This is the only way you can get this out of your system. I am assuming here that he feels the same as you. Do it now and get it over with. Then you can accept whatever you decide and move beyond it. Don't let this eat away at you, life it too short not to seize the moment. OK it will be painful if there is no future for the two of you together but at least you'll know.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2011): I had the same problem not long back,
There is two reasons he is saying things like that to you:
1. He really does love you and sees his future with you or
2. He trying to keep you happy and doesn't want to hurt you so is saying things that he think will keep you there and still having feelings for you.
If he honestly feel that way for you he should break up with his current girlfriend and get back with you.
It's hard to know how he really feel, all you can do is ask him and see what he says. Only you know if he is truely telling the truth or not.
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A
female
reader, Denise32  +, writes (11 February 2011):
 Look, the whole point of ending a relationship is that you both move on because it isn't working. You do not stay in touch, precisely because you need to go on with your separate lives.
You and your former boyfriend ended it four years ago. You have another boyfriend; he has another girlfriend. He has absolutely no business telling you he still loves you - and you say you're not sure why his current gf doesn't like you?!
Perhaps you should both break up with your bf/gf that you now have and get back together. If you do, be prepared for the fact that the issues that led to the break-up in the first place will still be present (UNLESS you find a way to resolve them). Either do that, OR accept that he is in your past, and put him out of your mind entirely. That's what you do.
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