A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:i like this girl a lot and i have been into her for the past year and she knew i liked her all along....she then said that she didn't like me and that i was just a friend to her. Our friendship deteriorated because of the awkwardness and she wasn't comfortable talking to me and stuff. Because i wanted this to stop, i just told her that i was over her and that we can just be good friends. I am actually not over her....i cant. Now, the awkwardness has reduced and we are being good friends but there is still some awkwardness between us as it is still in her mind that i liked her and stuff. She hangs out with me and my friends but the problem is that she isn't that open with me as she is with my friends, for example....when we all have a conversation, she doesnt look at me but my friends, she hugs them more frequently, she basically talks to them more than me and it is very annoying.I dont want this. I was planning to buy her a blackberry for her birthday but one day she was talking to one of my friends and expecting him to buy a blackberry. Its like she hates me or something.....where have i been wrong?? what do i do ? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, KlassyKirsty  +, writes (28 September 2011):
 I personally think that it was good of you to take the initiative and to reveal your feelings for her, which i must admit takes quite alot of courage due to a common fear of rejection :)
It took a blow to the heart naturally because she didnt reciprocate your feelings in return. The old cliche *boy likes girl who isnt attracted to her in that way or vice versa* happens to the vast majority of people. Absoloutely none of this was your fault :).
One of a variety of reasons that your friendship deteriorated, is most probably because she was aware that you wanted to cross the line over to being more than platonic whereas this made her uncomfortable, which is understandable because this boundary is delicate, especially when you see this girl constantly, which mulitplies the effort on overcoming your feelings for her.
Yes, I notice that you are eager to rescue any form of communication that you have with her, and you did a sensible thing in reassuring her that your crush on her has dissolved, but i sense that a small part of her is still paranoid that you harbour feelings for her, and she might even feel overwhelming guilt to not returning feelings.
As she is reluctant to even hug you,she most probably fears that any simple friendly physical contact is just going to go and give you a false impression.
The best solutuion i can offer you is to (easier said than done) seek out other friendships as well, channel your interest in other peeps is best.
Do not let this one off episode of rejection lower your self worth. Still continue to be proactive which is a good attitude, but it is her loss if she never wants to rekindle an old friendship, you cannot help who you fall in love with.They do say that patience is a virtue and life is full of suprises :)Good luck and take care xx
P.S you simply cannot buy love, true love is not based around material.
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