A
male
age
30-35,
*hristian676
writes:I'm 23 years old guy and time ago I had a stupid thing with my friend that I can't get out of my head. My friend is a bit older than I, he's a nice guy and I can always trust in him. We've shared many things and had always be there each for other. So one night I stayed at his place. We were eating and talking about random stuff. Everything was good. I had an argument with my parents that day so I was happy to relax. Somehow we started to talk about sex, about things that turns us on. I told that I like to be hugged and then suddenly he hugged me so tightly that I couldn't move at all. He's lifting weights and doing many kinds of sport, so he's much more stronger than I am. I thought it was a joke and tried to laugh, but when he didn't let me go, I got scared. He pushed me down on sofa, still holding me and started nuzzling me. He was laughing and called me baby and honey and other similar words. All the time I tried to get away from him and we were fighting like this for some time. Then I said that it's not funny anymore, he said "ok, let's get serious" and he started to kiss me, pressing his body against mine. I fought, telling him I'm not gay and he told me I don't have to be gay to just have fun and asked me to hug him. And then I noticed I had an erection.Nothing happened between us then , because I was fighting as hard as I could, so he eventually let me go. I'm worried. I had no idea that he's into guys. Why did I have that damn erection? Was it because of him? Because of what he did to me? I don't want to be gay and I'm avoiding him now, because I'm afraid he could do something like this again and I will have it again.
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female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (1 December 2012):
 Person12345 is correct. This 'encounter' was a sexual assault. And your erection was an involuntary response to stimulus and possibly fear/anger, and not a sign of latent homosexuality. It's similar to being tickled. I absolutely cannot stand being tickled, but I will laugh during it, which some have mistaken (at their peril) for enjoyment. I've read and heard that some men will have an erection just prior to (or while) being hanged and they certainly didn't enjoy that. It's not unheard of for a woman to lubricate during a violent rape, and you can take it to the bank that she didn't enjoy her 'encounter' either.Don't start second guessing yourself. If you were gay, you'd have known it long ago. And if you weren't then, you aren't now.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2012): Agreed that this is sexual assault. Most assaults are committed by people we know and trust. You did not invite this attention. And when you said no and stop, he did not.
I'd report it. We don't know if this man is a sexual predator with a criminal record or not.
Do not put yourself in another situation with this disrespectful man.
Terminate contact and friendship, report him, seek counselling.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (1 December 2012):
 What happened was sexual assault, what he did was NOT OK at all.
You got an erection because it's a physical response, not because you are attracted to him. Men can get erections even when they aren't aroused, by force. You can't be "made gay."
Please seek help from a therapist so you can get the support you need.
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