A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:You heard of the phrase "If a guy likes a girl, he'll go out of his way to be mean to her", but I'm not sure if that's all that true. I'm having an experience with a guy who I personally am torn with what he thinks of me. I'll call him Jay for privacy sake, this is not his real name however. I am an ordinary teenager, 16 years old and he is as well, but just suddenly I was in a group doing a simple project while sitting next to one of his friends who goes "Hey, Jay, want to sit next to Rayne?" (Calling myself Rayne for privacy as well.) This was one of many incidents. The second thing is that he constantly, and I mean, constanlty calls out my name sexually in the middle of class with his friends. I have already had the disciplinarian write him up for harassment when I told him to stop and he didn't. He came back to class and told his friends that he was called down to the disciplinarian and asked if he liked me which he said "no" to. I'm not believing this because he goes out of his way to say hello to me in the middle of the class randomly, and when I was in the wrong class he showed up out of no where and told me where to go. While I'm writing this, it really does seem like he likes me but I'm not exactly sure. Any opinions? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (14 November 2016):
 Older woman here :) and I confirm what BrownWolf says.
"If a guy likes a girl he will go out of his way to be mean to her " is true .. in elementary school, and possibly some boys who mature slowly will reproduce in their teen years childish attention-seeking bad behaviours; but it's not that the girl has got to give them a medal for that. She should think what kind of boyfriend could be a guy who uses bad manners and scare tacticts to make an mpression ( hint... not a good one ). Respect is everything in any relationship, romantic or otherwise. No respect, no relationship- sorry Jay. Come back when you have grown up and learned a bit of the ways of the world.
FWIW, anyway, and so that you don't have to regret you'd be missing out on an ardent, although uncouth, suitor... I don't think he is being mean because he likes you. This is not the usual , and in its own way affectionate , teasing and ribbing a girl who piqued your curiosity. He is sexually harassing you, - with the intent of embarassing you publicly - it's a way to show you who is the boss, who is top dog. Not nice , not romantic ( and if he persists, have your parents go directly to the principal and kick up a big fuss, btw ).
You are very young, but as one can train her taste in art or music or wines, ... believe it or not you can ( and should ) train your taste in men too, and learn to appreciate and reward with your attention only those men who are willing and able to treat you well.
A
male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (14 November 2016):
""If a guy likes a girl, he'll go out of his way to be mean to her"
Not true at all.
Most guys are just as shy to talk to a girl, as she is as shy to talk to him.
This guy however...You stay as far away from him as you can. Take it from an older man with a lot more experience. And any older woman who reads your description of him will tell you the same thing.
Not only is he immature, but he has no class, and treat you like a play thing already. Yes he likes you...for one reason...and I am sure you know what I mean.
When you told him to stop, and he continued to the point of being disciplined, that alone should have told you to stay away. A respectable guy would not be calling out your name in such a way...much less to go as far as be disciplined for it.
A good guy would respect you, and treat as such. Do not take his foolishness as affection.
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