A
female
age
51-59,
*onstantly lost
writes:My husband is 49 and had recently reunioned with his niece. They have lost contact for 30 years when she was 9. I was very happy for both of them until recently, I accidentally found their email exchanges when she call my husband daddy, and he calls her little girl. She is 39, and 2 years younger than me. She told my husband about her marriage problem not long after they physically met. Since that, they have been on the call, emails and text as she was seeking his advice and my husband was trying to confort her. I had always felt bad about this niece for her difficult childhood. Her dad, my husband's older brother had died when she was still an infant. But seeing how they refer to eacher as daddy and little girl and kind of the cheesy words in the email, I am feeling disgust. I try to pretend nothing has happened. I don't know if I am being overly reacting to this, or what they do is over the borderline as uncle and niece. I do have to admit that my husband is indeed harmful and handsome
View related questions:
text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2012): I think you have every right to be suspicious. This sounds really weird. It brings to mind a Dear Margo column where a father had reunited with a child of his by another woman that he hadn't known about previously. The woman went to family function, etc, might have even been living with the family at one point.
Until they caught the father and his "daughter" in a compromising position. It turned out that this was not his daughter but his girlfriend (mind you he was still married).
Anyway, I'd confront your husband. Play it cool, though. Frankly what is happening isn't normal. Grown women don't call anyone but their fathers or their lovers Daddy and grown men don't check their blackberry during the night just to read an email from their niece, estranged or not.
A
female
reader, fishdish +, writes (10 December 2012):
 I think the overeagerness is something to ask about-he gets up in the middle of the night just to check his blackberry for a message from her, or work or something else? yea...drooling, I'm not sure if it's about her or what. Definitely mention in a casual way that his overeagerness doesn't really seem like the kind that you would show a relative, like gee i'm never THAT excited to hear from my uncle, what were you like when you did know each other. I guess it's possible that he's happy to be reunited, but this seem overboard..
...............................
A
female
reader, Euphoric29  +, writes (10 December 2012):
I can understand that this is a weird situation, because he seems to contact her so often and they seem to be very intimate. Also, they are only ten years apart and she's almost as old as you, so there could be attraction, or some sort of nostalgia, mixed with attraction..
Before you go on spying on him, which by the way I don't think is cool, you should sit down and talk to him. Don't mention the incest thoughts or accuse him. Just ask how are things with him and his niece, how is it going. How is she doing. And that you noticed their contact is so intense, ask what is the reason for that and what is he feeling etc.
Maybe he can reassure you. Maybe he will make your doubts worse.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2012): My initial thought too, in what way is he harmful?
...............................
A
female
reader, Constantly lost +, writes (10 December 2012):
Constantly lost is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks. Fiendish. The niece lost cintacts with my husband's family because the mother remarried, and didn't want her to contacted my husband's family. Until this summer, she managed to find my in law's. The reason I couldn't get over is the fact that she had been very accepted by her aunts, other uncle too who are really nice and live actually very close to her. My husband met her during his visit to his parents in mid Nov. They email each other a few times a day. They are eager to get each other's email, my husband checks his blackberry even during the night. Forgot to mention, his niece lives in a country that has 14 hours time difference. I maybe should give it the benefit of doubt, considering the distance. But will u even tell your newly met niece that you drooled while you nap in email. Should I mention something before it gets somewhere
...............................
A
female
reader, fishdish +, writes (10 December 2012):
I would want to give your husband the benefit of the doubt that there wasn't some kind of incestuous thing going on, especially if you see no other signs of it. Why did they lose contact? What do you mean by "cheesy"?
...............................
A
female
reader, Constantly lost +, writes (10 December 2012):
Constantly lost is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSorry I had a typo. I meant to say my husband is charming and handsome, not sure how I got the word harmful there.
...............................
|
