A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hello, just wondering if you can give me some tips please, and a bit of advice with girl issues, i will try make it as short as possiblebasicly i havent had a lot of girlfriends so im not really that experienced, i had my first 'girlfriend' when i was 10, then another when i was 13 or 14 cant remember wich age i was, and thats really it, ive allways been very shy and have had confidence issues im still a virgin, but recently (last couple of years) i got a new job where every day im meeting new people (its a glazing company, so allways out and about at peoples houses and stuff) wich has really improved my self confidence.ive joined a gym and feel very confident, feel healthier and alot more comfortable in my self, and look a lot lot better (i have never been over weight, im getting alot muscualar) , since my new job ive been talking to a lot more girls properly, speaking and adding people on facebook (its a great tool for talking to knew people) i usually say hi to a lass on facebook n after some flirting and chatting up they give me ther number, or ask for mine, and thats when i ask if they want to meet up, it works, it just never goes further that metting them, ecause either im not ther type or they arent my type, and they allways allways tell me how attractive i am, weather it be im hot, gorgeous... what ever, so obviusoly it just boost my confidence. but on one occasion (i wont go to much into details) a lass added me on facebook and messaged me, i got her number and arranged to meet , it did go further than the usuall encounters, we had three dates and where unofficially together, but she ended it because it didnt feel right for yer... fair enough, i was gutted but i didnt let it stop me from meeting/speaking to knew girls and i continued my quest for a girlfriendthis is where my problem is, i added some gorgeous girl on facebook and inboxed her a cheeky hello and a few chat up lines later she askde for my number, i obviously gave her it, she text me the following day and we have been texting on and off now for like 1 month, she thinks im hot i think shes hot we are both single, so i thought ill go for it and see what happens, i wanted to meet up with her but she was giving me a load of crap like making excuses and stuff (i think, im not 100% sure) but eventualy she asked me to come see her at work (she work in the local sport shop, she is in 6th form at school, so she is 17, im 19)now 2 years ago i would have shit myself and made any excuse not to go see her out of extreme shyness and anxiety, but i did my hair put some decent cloths on got the bus up n whent to meet her, saw her straight away gave her a cheeky smile and a wink and went over to talk to her (first time ive ever met her) got talking for a while , went and bought summat and went home, i purposly did not text her to see if she would text me... and she did saying she didnt reconise me at first it was my cheeky smile that made her realise who i was, it when very well i suppose? considering it wasent a date or a propper meeting she asked me to meet her at work so i did.but now i feel really attracted to her and want to meet her properly, how do i go about this? this is where my inexperience comes in, how do i know she likes me back? or that ther could be a chance of her liking me? also im so addicted to facebook and allways read stuff i dont intend on knowing for example this lass ive met, from reading statuses and wall post she is a bit of a 'slag' she likes sleeping round, wich i dont begrudge, she is young and wants a good time, nothing wrong with that, but im not interested in her for sex i do like her and i feel upset? (diont know the word to use) that i know she has been with other lads (they could be roumors i dount it tho, for reasons that i cba to write). i dont like the fact im not with her or that im not texting her ( we have stopped texting, she just didnt reply so im assuming she was busy n forgot, because i do the same) and i get realy jellous and get extremely attached to her, is this normal? haha i dunnno. for example she was xmas shopping with some lad (they wrote a status) and i find myself every minuite updating facebook to see whats going on, checking for comments on the post, stuff like that, and i get soooo jelous!! how can i help this? i hate being so attached!! is ther any advice you can give me? could i make somthing happen between us? (personaly i think the 'signs' are ther that ther cud be some potential intrest from her) i hate knowing she is with other lads and not me, how do i get over it?? does she see minterested? and what shall i do?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (11 December 2012):
 You are both single but she has a status with one guy? What is it?
She is very popular and I think other guys were quicker than you. They don't care for anything serious and she was easy to them. You on the other hand want to take it slow because you don't want to get hurt. That makes you stand out from other guys who obviously want one thing only. She likes the attention from you but because she is young, she may think that giving sex would win a guy's love but for you, you would respect her and give her love first, and that makes you boring, not like a challenge. She will want you not necessarily because she likes you for you, but because you can offer her security. So before you devote love to her, you have to make sure she is devoted to you, attracted to you to deserve that kind of love.
Right now you are not attached to her. You may even be motivated to win her because of competition. After you fall for her you may realize you have feelings you never thought you would have. Feelings such as insecurity, retroactive jealousy, and a sense that you may not measure up to her past lovers. Things that don't bother you now but will later. Not to deter you but to help you realize that this is what you may have to deal with if you decide to be with her. She must be very attractive but there is no need to put her on a pedestal. Get to know her, then decide whether she and you will be a good match.
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