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female
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anonymous
writes: I am happily married for 6 years now with 2 boys. Recently, I just realized that my father in-law has bad intention towards me. i.e. touching and hugging me. We are Muslims and such gesture is not our culture, but as a family, we only hug each other occasionally e.g. birthdays, Father’s day, Aidil Adha celebration. But my father in-law is doing it to me more often. Early this year, when we visited my in-laws, he pulled and hugged me and pat my shoulder, which I thought was a normal gesture as we have not visited them for several weeks. Two months later, I brought me 2 boys to visit them while my hubby was on traveling. When we were about to leave the house, I went to greet him at the dining area (no one was at that area at that time). He pulled me, hugged me and kissed me. Then I started to take things differently but I kept quite as I was at a dilemma. Last week, my in laws visited our home. I was in the kitchen when they were about to leave, so I washed my hands and wanted send them off. While washing my hands and knowing no one else was inside the house, he came to the kitchen, pulled me, hugged me and worst of all, he kissed me on my cheek. I quickly pulled myself off and head straight out the door.I am in the dilemma now. Should I tell my hubby? What would his reaction be? Either he believe it or not? He would lose respect towards his own father if I were to tell him.Or should I just give my father in-law a piece of my word once and for all? But I am afraid that he might tell my hubby that things happened the other way round, which is totally untrue! Or should I just diplomatically tell my father in-law that this shouldn’t be happening and please stop the nonsense!I really don’t what to do and I do not know anyone else that I can talk to. Where I work, most of them know my hubby’s family.Please help me to decide.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2006): Just tell your husband what his dad has been doing. Of course he's going to get upset and all, but thats understandable. Nobody wants to hear such things that there parents have done. Plus he will be upset because his father did this to you because he loves you. Dont let this get any worse by not saying anything, you've got to tell your husband! Tell him that you first thought about not telling him anything and that you thought that it would of been better if you told his dad to stop on your own, but that you knew that wasnt good and that you had to let your husband know. And pleas stay away from this sick man!! Dont let him into your home again! He could do something worse besides kiss you on the cheek. I hope this helps and you do just that. Good Luck!
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female
reader, Phoebe Halliwell  +, writes (31 May 2006):
 Dear Reader,
a most difficult problem. My first instinct, and probably yours too, is to tell your hubby. If somethings' bothering you or making you un-happy he should know. He may well have an argument with his father but you must understand he's fighting to protect you. Well Done for not telling anyone t work if they know the family - word can trvale fast, and your version of the story could be altered on the way. It is surprising that after 6 years he's taking an interest in you Now. There could be more to this...
I would say , dispite the risks, I'd talk to your husband, remember the marriage vows? Here's where they come into play, he wouldn't have married you if he didn't love and care for you. You've got to tell him. But tell him gently. Like - Don't be angry, but I feel I have to tell you something that's been on my mind recently. Ltaely, your father has been ...etc etc etc. I may be wrong but i thought i should tell you, don't me mad etc etc etc. GENTLY.
If you got it wrong and read the wrong siganls off him, you apologise to his family and it'll all be forgotten about soon enough. If you were right, it'll all be sorted out and hopefull have a happy ending.
Hope this helped!
Good Luck, all The Best and Blessed Be,
Phoebe
xxx
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