A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hey, im 16okay so here goes, i like girls, well at least i thought i did, and i think i'm starting to fancy men.so i've had a rough time, 12 months since my last relationship and not really close since, i've only managed to kiss a girl twice, and they were meaningless.There is this out-boy in my spanish class, and he is a cross-dresser who works in a gay bar, he started talking to me and was saying how great it was to be a woman, and i sorta kept hold of them words and when my folks went out of town for the weekend about 7 months ago, i tried on a dress and make-up, tbh i loved it but felt weird because, i stereotyped it as being a 'gay' thing to do.so i started to think i may be that way inclined. so i tested myself and watched some gay porn; and to my horror i was hard in a matter of moments, there was no doubting it, at this point i was dressing as a woman frequently.Whilst masturbating, the vivid image of girls was leapfrogged by a muscular man with a big penis and me giving and receiving bj's before it slowly developed into me fantasizing about sex too.I've been checking the guys out in gym, yanoo torso's and having to rush, in case someone notices me getting hard.i check porn alot, i know it isnt a fair reflection but still.and just recently i've gradually stopped liking a girl. I still like some girls but it just doesn't seem the same, i think i could date a girl, whilst im unsre about a boy, i've never actually fancied a boy, but im turned on by a toned body and penis. Yet im still a boob fan.But i don't wanna be gay, i have no hard feelings for gay people i just don't wanna be.I kow there isn't such thing as categories in your eyes, but what would you say..bi curious? bi or gay?I feel it could be hormones beign only 16 but im unsureplease help
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female
reader, PrettyGirlOnGuitar  +, writes (20 June 2010):
No, don't worry about it, I'm a straight girl, yet the ONLY porn I get turned on is lesbians 69ing...naked girls make my panties explode with cum...yet the thought of being with a woman makes me throw up in my mouth. At the gym in real life I am always staring at men's bodies, butts, fantasizing about kissing them...DO NOT WORRY in porn you will get turned on by pretty much everything you see since there are attractive people with hot tight bodies. Just enjoy it.
Your sexuality is mainly determined by the person you dream of marrying and raising children with. THAT's the orientation you really are.
A
male
reader, heyheyhey1 +, writes (25 February 2010):
I think you dont check this anymore, and you are 2 years older now, but I dont know if this makes you gay. I mean it sounds like you are, or bi, but i am gay and I started liking guys the first time I started having attraction to anything. Right when the hormones started, it wasnt like I switched. Or was ever attracted to women. But maybe you didnt realize it or it really just wasnt something that is acceptable where you live and so you kept it inside.Not having a GF for awhle doesnt mean anything, it is are you attracted to men or women. And being gay isnt as bad as it seems. I didnt want to be at first at all. But its okay once you accept it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2009): I think that thought can be at times our worst enemy but remember I said at times. First you held onto the crossdressing word,then you acted on them.Second you were thinking so you watched gay porn and masterbated to it,making your self even more confused.I say stop watching the gay porn,b/c its just making you more confused and the cross dressing to but only if you wont to.I mean its your and what you do in it is your choice in the end.But your the one who said I dont wont to be gay,hello I'm just saying look at your own words.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2008): Well, if Anybody watches porn, it will get them Thinking sexually, gay or not. I wouldn't advice that because porn is destructive to your thoughts and relationships. It's o.k. to appreciate the male physique because you are Male, but to question your manhood is unnecessary.My brother didn't have many girlfriends in high school, but he met a pretty girl in college. (they celebrated 8 years together) Anyways, when you Don't put pressure on yourself about girls, then you can relax and just have fun getting to know them...try going to a church youth group, lots of nice girls there, and it's good times!
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A
female
reader, anneon  +, writes (22 November 2008):
 Maybe you're bisexual. Or maybe it's just hormones. On the other hand, things that turn us on in our fantasy lives are often very different from what turns us on in our real lives. I sometimes fantasize about giving/recieving oral sex from a woman when I masturbate but I don't think it would turn me on at all in real life. It's just a fantasy.
It might be damaging to put yourself in a category at your age, by which I mean, there is a broad spectrum of human sexuality and everyone falls at a different point on it. Say, at one end there is "only likes those of same gender" and on the other "only likes those of the other gender" (though there are also more than two genders but nevermind that for the moment!). And you fall somewhere inbetween. And it is fluid. SOme days, you might fall further to the left, and on some days, more to the right. Does this make sense to you? My point is, what turns you on will change as you get older, and will also change with your mood. I am turned on by women and men, but I am mostly turned on by men, so I consider myself to be straight. But I recognize that I am not "100%" straight since women do play a role in my fantasies. It doesn't make me a lesbian. Just like fantasizing about men or dressing in women's clothes doesn't make you gay. It makes you experimental and open to new things.
At this point in your sexual development, it is perfectly normal to be doing these things, as you are just discovering your likes, dislikes, etc. In the future you may realize that you are "only turned on by those of the same gender", but you might find that your sexuality is not that easy to pin down. I personally have my doubts that anyone is 100% straight, but I've got nothing to back that up with, it's just a hunch.
Don't worry too much, hun, just keep your mind open and keep exploring yourself. It's totally healthy and normal.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2008): Im in a similar situation, I dont want sex with men, I want sex with women and i enjoy thinking about women. Im more attracted to women now (im 17) than i was, and i want sex with women. Ive never really done much with people either, and only kissed 1 girl. I wouldnt worry, it is most likely just your hormones, and if you fancy women as well, then its unlikely that your gay.Hope this helps,all the best.
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