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36-40,
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writes: I told my boyfriend 'I'll kick your ass in bed' meaning that I'd be really good...Until I got on top, that is. The two other guys that I've had sex with gave me 'rave reviews', you might say because I was very skilled at being on top. They, however...are not my current boyfriend. He's a bigger guy, and so instead of being able to straddle him comforabley with my knees firmly planted into the bed, my legs are stretched a little wider, and he keeps my knees from bearing all my weight. It's hard to get and maintain a good pace. He usually ends up helping me out. I wanna do it myself, dang it!Help? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, madflash  +, writes (21 May 2008):
 You're right. I apologize. I was in a really bad mood when I answered that and I'm sorry.
I guess the whole point behind my snide answer, the most valid point, is that if he truly likes you--genuinely cares about you--techniques are immaterial. You will rock his world even if you're a rock in bed. lol
Good luck, sweety... really, I mean that.
Madflash
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2008): My advice is to experiment. Find another position that allows you to have more of a grip. Watch lots of porn? that’s where I get my ideas. Try yoga it will open your hips a little more. And don’t forget lunges keep your thighs as firm as possible.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionmadflash, you can pack it in and keep quiet if you're going to bring such trashy talk in your advice on this site. And no, anon, I am not seeking sex as an opportunity to get a gold metal. I meant that its strange for me to have trouble on top since I was usually very good with past partners. Seriously...call girl and paranoid child? What's with the names?
I am not a call girl. I am simply worried that I am not pleasing him well enough. I want to give him a good experience. I could just lie there and expect him to endlessly please me or something. I want to become more skilled during intercourse with him to show him how much I love him and appreciate him. YES, I show it in other ways, but it would be nice to GIVE as much as I RECIEVE.
Thanks, DoubleM and Diovan.
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2008): Regular practice this position untill you both get use to it. He is different from your previous partners and it will take a while for you both to get comfortable and work it all out.
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male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (20 May 2008):
 While the previous advisors seemed to "take you to task" for your interest in sexual positions and technique, the subject in general is worthy for discussion in my opinion.
As others stated, emotions and a caring (loving) partner are most important, but some good technique, as opposed to clumsiness, is a good thing as well. As you have discovered, a person's size and physique (as well as conditioning) will have quite an affect on success in the sack. Woman-on-top is one of the greatest positions for many partners, but works best when both are either fairly small or thin. When either partner is large or overweight, the position is much more challenging. I'm experiencing the same with a fairly large current girlfriend. In my opinion, you simply have to keep exploring other positions when previous experience does not seem to work as well with a new partner.
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male
reader, madflash +, writes (19 May 2008):
Sheesh, this is completely devoid of emotion. It's pure sex. You sound like a call girl.
When you get a little older sex becomes much more dependent on emotions. The brain is the most important sexual organ, and making love beats the hell out of just having plain raw sex. Sure the physical act is fine when you're young and less experienced (as long as you're having sex with any mildly attractive candidate) but believe me when I tell you, that this kind of sex is going to get really old really fast.
But even just plain raw sex should not be reduced to a set of 'special' techniques, or practiced cookie-cutter movements for any 'plug-in' partner, the Tom, Dick, or Harry you happen to be dating that week.
The most important technique is treating your partner like an individual. Find out what turns him or her on and do it to the best of your ability. That will blow them away more than any practiced movement.
Good luck
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2008): There are lots of good books with illustrations and text to give explicit advice regarding good sexual positions and just as each man is different so will be the sexual experience surely the relatioship is important? The fact that you see sex as some kind of opportunity to get a gold medal is what concerns me. Why don't you just relax? You sound paranoid and a bit childish.
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