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I'm not a sex addict, am I?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Health, Marriage problems, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 September 2008) 5 Answers - (Newest, 1 October 2008)
A male United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I'm not a sex addict am I? My wife just tells me I may be but i'm not that convinced I am. She is 6 years older than me and has already been around the block. Im in the military and I have to leave for certain things. Recently I went to another state for schooling, about 3 months. My wife stayed home. It is very stressful sometimes when she is not there, we can't fulfill our sexual needs. So... I look at porn, im a more visual person and when im stressed out and feel i need to have a "release" to take some of the tension away. I have read the symptoms of the these kinds of addictions and i am far from it. I have only done it when me and my wife are away from each other. I dont think about it constantly, it doesnt interfer with my job or anything. But I just feel when my wife isnt there for me, i should be able to look at some porn for some stimulation is all. She has sex toys she uses also when I am there AND gone, i have no problem with it. Am I an addict because i feel I need a "release" when my wife isnt around for long periods of time?

View related questions: military, period, porn, sex addict, sex toy

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2008):

Thank you for your advice everyone I really appreciate it. It's hard to talk about things like this with even really good friends so I felt I was all alone lol. I just needed to know I wasn't the only that felt this way. I will try to talk to her about it, but we have that communication problem sometimes, she thinks what she wants regardless of what I try to say but ill try to get through to her.

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A male reader, -S Australia +, writes (1 October 2008):

Nah, not addicted. Unless you count the addiction that comes with being a male. ;)

-S

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A female reader, thatgothgirl20 United States +, writes (1 October 2008):

thatgothgirl20 agony auntShe has no right to call you that, with all of those toys she has. If she wants you to stop masturbating, I say she give it up too.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2008):

No you're not a sex addict. I just feel for you when you watch all that porn and cant get no icky ickyyyy! LOL!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2008):

You aren't even close to being a sex addict. You only use porn when you don't have your wife available and are away from home. It is normal to need sexual relief when you are away from your partner for 3 months or even a few days for that matter. I see nothing wrong with what you are doing. If you use porn to the exclusion of showing your wife affection or to the exclusion of other important things that you have to do then you could be a sex addict. However, I get no impression that you do anything like that at all. If she is accusing you of being a sex addict because you use some porn while away, while she uses sex toys while you are both away and at home, then she is awfully hypocritical. It sounds like she is closer to being a sex addict than you are. However, I don’t believe that she is either. Both of you are doing totally acceptable sexual things to relieve your sexual stress.

I just read your question to my wife and she just rolled her eyes. She said that she doesn’t think that you have any kind of a problem. I used to use porn and masturbation when my wife and I were having sex daily because I could have had sex 3 or 4 times a day and she was happy with just once. She didn’t think that I was doing anything wrong, as I satisfied her anytime that she wanted sex. It didn’t affect my work or life or sex with her, so what is the harm. If your wife is accusing you of being a sex addict because of what you are doing then she needs to think more reasonably. Ask her if her use of sex toys makes her a sex addict.

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