A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: So here is the thing. I broke up with my boyfriend after four years a month ago. The last time I was single I was a teenager. Dating has changed a lot since then! I met a man at my local watering hole and we really hit it off. We had a dew drinks and one thing lead to another and we ended up at my place. We didn't sleep together but we came close. The next day we hugged and went our seperate ways. He works out of town and I knew he was leaving soon. I told him to call me when he got back into town and mentioned that we should grab dinner or lunch sometime. A week later I returned to my watering hole and he was there. I assumed that he wasn't interested and that is why he didn't call. However, he came and sat by me and told me he just got back into town and he was about to call me. We talked about our earlier encounter. He said that he was interested in me but he wants to take baby steps and get to know one another. I agreed (I realy want to take it slow). He told me he would call in the next few days and we get dinner. Last night I ran into him again and said hello. We talked for a few minutes and then nothing... no goodbye, no good seeing you, nothing. Me, being bad a dating, texted him and told him to have a good night and be safe. I didn't get a response. So I guess my question is...Is this man interested in me? If so, what next? Also, since I am new at adult dating, any advice would be appreciated.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2007): Hi there
I tend to agree that it doesn't sound as if he is "into you!" I think he would have done quite alot better than he has if he was interested. He sounds as though he is keeping his options open.
No more txts. Don't chase him. If he was keen he would have made an effort to contact you. I just don't think it is worth worrying about. I would actually put this one down to you experimenting with dating again and you've just started to see what is out there for you.
All the best and I am sure you will find someone who will pay you the attention you deserve! Good luck on your search, but this man is not worth your attention.
A
female
reader, rockelle +, writes (26 October 2007):
In my opinion I do not think he is too interested. I think the reason he came and chatted with you was because he did not want to seem rude or hurt your feelings. I could be wrong but that is just how it seems. He hasn't made any real effort to spend time with you. Maybe you should try another avenue as far as meeting guys, I think it is such a bad idea to meet a guy at a bar.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2007): Hi I think Uncle Phil is spot on, dont chase after him. If i was you and i bumped into him, i wouldnt even bother going up to him and chatting. He obviously isnt interested or he would of been in touch. Mark my words you are best rid of this one. He just wants to play with your head. He doesnt want you, but a little kiss and a cuddle now and then is nice, er no. You have had a lucky escape. You deserve better and keep out of his way in future. No more texting him either.
take care
xx
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2007): I went through something very similar, Anonymous. I spent most of college and several years afterwards with the same woman. When we finally broke up, nearly two years ago, I had a hard time adjusting to "adult" dating.
I agree with Phil, that this fellow doesn't sound particularly interested in you. I'm not sensing a lot of sincerity from his end. Don't feel bad about texting him and not getting a response... we've all done that before!
The guy doesn't sound worth a second thought, in my opinion. I know it's hard to get back into the dating game... it was hard for me, too. Keep at it, though. It WILL get easier!!!!!
-- Curt
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2007): My instinct here is that he's not that keen on seeing you again or he would have made suitable arrangements to do so.
Just back in town? I think you can take that line with a pinch of salt. If I was him and if I'd have been keen on meeting up again, I would have called that morning or the previous evening to let you know I was on my way, and ask you to book a table somewhere.
Having spent a night at your place, the next time he sees you he wants to take 'baby steps'. Translation - "I don't fancy you all that much, but it was nice knowing you and thanks for an otherwise pleasant evening."
Probably not what you want to hear, but that's my 'take' on the situation.
Phil
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