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male
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anonymous
writes: i am nearly forty and have fallen head over heels for a girl aged 25. Getting close to her to find out about her was, logistically, difficult however, i did ask her out and she politely refused - seeing somebody at the time. A couple of years have passed and i still feel strong about her, feelings getting stronger all the time and ones like i have never experienced before.is the age difference to great and should i continue to pursue her? definately need advice on this. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Naughty  +, writes (27 November 2006):
 I hope everything worked out for you. I would love an update. Strangely enough I'm in the same situation. This 26/F had a HUGE CRUSH on this 38yr old. Unfoutunatley by the time I found out he felt the same way I was already in a relationship. 1yr later after I moved away, I still keep in touch with him.
We both agreed that age is only a number. We get along so well, but due to certain circumstances we cant be together.
So no I don't think the age difference is too much. How weird would it be if you were the "one" I was talking about.
Good Luck xoxoxoxox
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female
reader, willywombat  +, writes (12 July 2006):
 If she appears interested then ask her again and go for it. Life is too short not too......
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2006): I married a man with about the same age difference thinking that age did not matter. However, I quickly learned that IT DOES MATTER!!! Although some people stay "young", you cannot take away the years of experience you have over her - even if she is really mature, as I was. Therefore, these types of relationships force the young to live the life of an older person many years before they are ready. My advice is, if you truly like her, leave her alone. Rarely do older men see dating younger women as selfish. I was there - it is a very selfish thing to do and you should be the "wiser" one in this pre-relationship and don't take your thoughts farther than your head. Would you date a woman who is 55?? Ahem ... I rest my case.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2006): Have you ever heard the saying, age is nothing but a number? well its true. If you love each other then there is nothing to worry about.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2006): i am a 24 year old woman dating a 39 year old man. I have been with him 3 1/2 years and we live together. age now is not what concerns me. we get along great. but like another reader pointed out, when shes 60 you will be 75. there may not be a difference now, but the difference between 60 and 75 is drastic. i am always concerned with my boyfriend smoking, he is already 15 years older than me, if he keeps up and we are eventually married, theres a good chance i can end up a very young widow. even with the age diff., i am likely to end up a widow. there are a lot of things you start to think about once you settle into a relationship with a big age gap. like, do we have a similar lifestyle, are we both healthy or do we have bad habits (smoking, drinking) that could eventually leave someone devestated. age gaps are no big deal.this could happen with people the same age. the only thing a younger woman/man has to think about is "if this goes someplace, what can happen to me in 20-25 years"? it is scary to think about being left alone. make sure of your feelings for her, i guess you should try and aks her out again first. if things get serious make it a point to talk about these difficult things/expectations before you spend 3-4 yrs together because then it will be really hard. there is no problem if you both except the fact that someone may end up alone. i dont think it is a big deal to have an age gap, but from my experiance, it is alot harder to deal with what someday could be reality. i do believe a couple would have to be pretty special to make it work. but this is just my opinion. your letter was very interesting to me because i am in a situation like this right now. all the best.
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female
reader, bonym +, writes (8 July 2006):
 You are both adults over 20 so what is the problem? The only concern with big age gap relationships is the longivity of them, i.e if you stay together for life, bear in mind that when she is 50 you will be 65, that seems ok, but when she is 60, you will be 75, as long as you are both happy with it, its fine. My late grandmother was 28 years younger than my late grandfather! They were very happy. She married him at 18 and he would have been 46!!! Thats the truth!!! xXx
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2006): If you truly love someone, age shouldn't matter. But, if she doesn't feel the same about you then, you can't force her to love you. Ask her out maybe once more. If she says no, there's nothing more you can do but respect her choice. Try to move on. Try to find new interests or hobbies to meet new people, and maybe the girl of your dreams will pop up somewhere.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2006): I personally dont think age should be a barrier in dating/relationships. You are both adults, after all. There is no harm in trying, just dont be pushy. If you do decide to ask her again, and she refuses a second time, I would leave it at that, and just accept that she is either with someone else, or is not interested in you in that way.
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