A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've got a bit of a problem regarding moving in with my boyfriend. It's not that I'm having doubts about doing it, but that I daren't tell my parents. I'm 21 and have been with him for just over a year and he currently lives with a friend who is going to be moving out. I've always found it hard to talk to my parents. It has gotten me into problems in the past when I have done things behind their backs because I felt I couldn't tell them. My boyfriend and I have made an arrangement that when his friend moves out I will move into the house they are in at the moment, for a short while. Then we will start looking for a new place of our own. The problem is his friend has already arranged viewings for houses so I might not have long to go! I just wish I had told them when we first spoke of the idea, but I've done just what I always do and kept it from them and now its going to be even worse. I just don't know how to tell them. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, tennisstar88  +, writes (26 February 2011):
 I second what Fi said, it's something that needs to be said outright when everyone is sitting down to eat dinner. At 21 it's time to stop going behind your parent's back and be truthful with them. Lying gets old, and is rather immature.
I'm assuming you have a job to contribute to the household expenses you will be sharing with your boyfriend?
You're an adult who is able to make decisions regarding your life. I'm sure you've weighed the pros and cons, asked yourself the "what ifs". Just tell them that you're ready to leave the nest (I'm assuming this is the first time you've moved out). I suggest parting on good terms with your parents just in case things don't work out between you and your boyfriend..then you can always move back home.
Some tips: DON'T sign a lease together on a house, you're not married there's no need. It should go in your name or his, probably whoever has the better credit. Same rule applies for renting a flat. Why? Because in the event of a break-up you want to make a clean getaway and not be stuck with rent/house payment that you can't make.
A
female
reader, fi_the_tree +, writes (26 February 2011):
 Unfortunately it's just one of those things that has to be done. You just need to tell them straight up. They can't stop you moving out, but they need to know all the same. I'm sure they will be supportive and appreciate the fact that you have sat them down and told them straight up. You've been with your bf for a year so it must be serious and i wish you all the best. Maybe get your bf to sit down with you when you talk to your parents, for a bit of moral support. He can assure them that he will take care of you.
Good luck!
...............................
|
