A
female
age
41-50,
*lowerbud
writes:hello, I need some advice please, i was with my ex for 18 months the relationship was hard work to say the least, but now im with a new partner we have been together for 4 months early days i know, but i find it too boring even, i hate to say that but theres no passion at all, I'm missing my ex so much,when i was told my ex was meeting some one new I was so jealous, and still am, i miss the passion, the intamacy that im not getting now, the one im with now is great gives me everything ive ever wanted in a relationship apart from passion i need that. It didnt work out with my ex we tried councilling everything, but why cant i move on and get over her and just be happy?please help
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female
reader, xxxsoulsistaxxx +, writes (17 May 2007):
 You're placing so much emphasis on your ex, I don't think anyone will be able to live upto him until you have completely moved on. I don't know what you want from him, you said it was hard work, which usually means it wasn't all fun and games but I know some women like that. Are you one of those women who confuse passion with drama and upset?
I know you think you really want him back but surely you're not going to give up this lovely man for the dream of someone who's gone now? If you really love this other guy and not the one you're with, don't lead him on but think carefully first. Is the other one really who you want or is he just what you're used to? Maybe this stable, happy relationship isn't boring, it's just without the complications of a dramatic partner which is good! You just need to change your way of thinking.
Let this guy go if he's not for you. If you think it can work, and not just because your ex has someone else but because you could fall for him properly, then work on the passion. Get that back, it doesn't need to come from the guy.
Hope this helped and most of all, I hope it made you think about the reasons you found the other guy so exciting. Was he really passionate or did you get off on the drama?
Good luck and I hope you find your way.
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