A
male
age
41-50,
*arvestmoon
writes:I can't read my wife's signs. I get home the other day and she heads upstairs to put the kids to bed. Just before leaving the room, she tells me (and shows me) that she doesn't have any underwear on. After the kids are in bed, she takes a bath. After the bath, she comes down in a silk pajama top with no bottoms, just underwear. We cuddle up to watch a movie and I'm massaging her everywhere, thighs, side, back, neck, head, butt, the whole 2 hours!! Here's where I may have missed the sign, the whole time she manages to maybe scratch my leg for about 20 seconds. After the movie, we head upstairs and I'm rip, roaring, ready to go. She then climbs into bed, turns over, and goes to sleep.I was so let down, frustrated, confused by my misreading of the signals that I wanted to cry. Somebody please help, this is not the first time this has happened and I've already tried the whole telling her how I feel, etc., paying more attention to her, etc., BS before; it's not helping.Am I missing something? Does this happen to anybody else? Ladies, do you do this and if so, why?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2009): kids in bed, then she has bath, then 2 hours on a film and then she's too darn tired? Cease the moment during the film and start watching from where thigns got too hot the night after
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2009): ok, why dont you start with a massage but a lot more sexual? touch her to insinuate that you are up to more than just a massage and watch a movie, let her know!!! May be since you did not move to the second level she though you were all right with it....
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A
female
reader, miamigirls1 +, writes (8 July 2009):
ok, why dont you start with a massage but a lot more sexual? touch her to insinuate that you are up to more than just a massage and watch a movie, let her know!!! May be since you did not move to the second level she though you were all right with it....
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A
male
reader, harvestmoon +, writes (8 July 2009):
harvestmoon is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOk, I'm getting a lot of similar answers. I need to be more direct with my desires. I guess I felt that my 2 hour massage of her body was enough but what I'm gathering is that I need to be even more direct. I guess I got so caught up in wanting her to make some kind of move so that I knew she wanted me, that I forgot to be a little more aggresive myself.
Thanks everybody, I especially appreciated hearing a woman's perspective. It might be a while before I get a chance to try out this new strategy but when I do; I'll let you know how it went. Thanks.
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A
male
reader, dandada14  +, writes (8 July 2009):
 i used to get the same reponses sometimes from my ex as one of the women said on here women like that kinda affection and don think about sex and some want u to be the man and take control in the bed
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A
female
reader, Honeygirl  +, writes (8 July 2009):
 Sounds like your wife wants some spontaneous sex - when she told you she had no underwear on that was basically telling you to take her there and then!!
Get rid of the TV and start spending some quality time on each other! TV is a passion killer and by spending time watching TV you are basically telling her that there is something more interesting to watch than to make love to her.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2009): sometimes its nice to have the man take charge and show that he is willing to go the extra distance to please her, like goin under the sheets and making it all about her. Maybe u should try rolling her over and looking her in the eyes and give her a long slow passionate kiss before u just jump right into it.
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A
female
reader, natasia  +, writes (7 July 2009):
 i agree with brit below - personally, if i had been behaving like that, i wouldn't have been intending to wait until the end of the movie. i would have expected someone to follow me up the stairs after i showed them the no underwear ... she sounds like she is inviting you to be decisive and pretty much just go for it. well, that's how i would read it!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2009): im guessing that she was hoping you two would get close, but you ended up watching the movie. next time skip the movie. the woman was probably tired by then.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (7 July 2009):
 I have no idea why she would do this, it doesn't make sense, unless she has some or other issue about her body. The most direct route brings the most truth, so ask her straight out why she is refusing your advances. I know that it's difficult to approach the subject but don't mix your words, just say 'Why are you walking around with no undies on, letting me massage you and get myself all steamed up and then refusing me in bed?'...see what she has to say for herself. How did you overcome the problem before?.
If things continue, tell her you would like to see a counsellor for some marital advice. Also check your own personal hygiene. I know it seems dumb but, maybe it's something that simple. Nothing nicer than getting up close and personal with a man who smells divine.
Please let us know how it goes??
Aunty Em xxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2009): Perhaps she wanted to skip the movie and get right down to it??
There comes a time when fatigue sets in and the opportunity is lost!
And sometimes as women...we just like the affection. The key here is open communication....you say you already tried that but maybe next time confront her as soon as she rolls over and turns out the light.
It is difficult to second guess the mixed messages, we don't know her like you do.
I sympathize with your frustration, and hope things will get better!
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A
female
reader, Jess1ca_1988 +, writes (7 July 2009):
yes, i do it alot lol. sometimes its nice to tease my hubby, but when i get in bed i want him to take control and let me know he wants me like goin under the covers and making me scream, or just rolling me over and looking into my eyes and then start kissing me before we just jump right into it.
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