A
female
age
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anonymous
writes:Last year i found out that my partner of 6 years had been cheating on me with swingers all through our relationship, he started meeting these people a few months after we got together. When I found out he denied it, he even swore on his young sons life that he'd never cheated on me. He only admitted to it because I had photos of him having full sex with these people.(he'd forgotten to log off from his email that is how I found out) To cut a very long story short, we went to counseling for months, but he would never say why he'd done it, he said he didn't know, all he kept saying was he was sorry and he had no reason to cheat on me and I was the best thing that had ever happened to him. He begged me not to finish with him, he even had the front to ask me to marry him. So I gave him another chance. I've just found out that his got two email addresses under assumed names I know they are his, but he's denying it, he also gets texts which he deletes straight away, but forgets to delete them from his recent contact box, problem there, you only get the phone number not the messasge. I want to believe him but my gut feeling is telling me not to, my minds in turmoil, please is there anyone out there who can help, I don't even know now if i love him anymore?
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cheated on me, liar, swinging, text Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks to everyone of you who took the time to respond to my letter, all of you have given me plenty to think about, and some very good advice. I have been holding it all in for the past 18 months and its good to know that i'm not alone. I'm going to think long and hard for a while, and as soon as i'v decided i will post a message. Once again thankyou all x
A
male
reader, yum yum  +, writes (9 December 2008):
 I understand how you are feelings. His actions are unethcical and wrong since you are married with him. You gave him alleardy a chance and he seems to be messing up his chance. It is up to you if you want to give him one more chance however in my opinion he is no longer trust wurthy and I believe if you continue the relationship with him you are going to get hurt and be unhappy in the long run. It is not worth the risk. Good luck!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2008): Yuk - he put your health at risk... and has crushed you emotionally. Why would you possibly want to put yourself through the trial of having to try and try to forgive him again and again? Set yourself free and just leave.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2008): Not just men who cheated and lied, my wife lied and cheated on me, she had no reason to either, just did for the attention and sex with someone else, what a sleazy world we live in this site seems to blame men, but some woman are just as bad,why don't all the lying cheating horrible people get together so they can only keep hurting there kind, and all the decent loving people get together then no more hurt out there, what a geat Idea, the liars could lie to each other then they would be happy never knowing anything in life, Thank god there is a god, God bless all the people out ther who are kind and truthfull, and to hell with both male and female liars and cheats.Hopefully the outcome on judgement day.
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A
male
reader, SinVA  +, writes (9 December 2008):
It sounds like he hasn't changed, so it's time for you to think hard about cracking down on him again or even separation. It's very tough, but if he won't stop, I really can't think of another solution. Perhaps I'm too young to be suggesting advice, but my personal feeling is that even after you confronted him, and he continues to do this, you need to face the truth and get out of this. He swore on your sons life and lied! Clearly he has no real ethical backing to prevent him from lying to you, so how can you believe ANYTHING this guy is saying!
I feel very sad for you, but know that there are people who care for you. Hopefully an older poster can come in and impart some more aged wisdom but my advice is to begin the healing process by leaving.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2008): You gave him another chance and he's still screwing around. The fact that he has these 2 other e-mail addresses in secret, plus the texts he's deleting, are big red flags. You've given him more than he deserved, now it's time for him to pay for his mistakes. Myself, I wouldn't put up with it for one more day. You deserve better than that.
It seems he doesn't quite know how to stop. He may have a sexual addiction. His behavior is bigger than your relationship. Someone who behaves such as he is not behaving as a married person should. I say go with your gut, and run for the hills. Rather, kick him to the curb, where he belongs. Good luck to you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2008): Sexual experiences can be like a drug. Whenever you cross a 'new' line (in this case swinging), it's hard to go back to a 'normal' monogamous relationship. So hard that most people need 'intervention' or it's a losing battle. It's your choice, and if you love him deep enough, then it's a battle for both of you, but rehabilitation is possible.
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