A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I a woman married to a man and I have recently found a woman that I am falling in love with. I love my husband and father of my kids. We have had many ups and downs over the last decade, but right now things are going well. The problem I have is that I found this woman I am so deeply attracted too, because he encouraged my desire to be with a woman. My feelings for this woman are so strong, I have considered telling her the truth about how I feel even though she said she didn't want to cause any kind of problems for my marriage. I don't know what to do. I don't know if I can go the rest of my life without knowing what kind of life I could have had with this woman. But I also don't know if I could go the rest of my life knowing I hurt my husband and left him for another person. I know this is beyond complicated, but any advice will suffice. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2011): i am going through the same thing! thank god theres some1 else! im getting married to the man i love and the father of my daughter in 4months,and have developed strong feelings for another woman,but she doesnt know and she has a bf.it is a horrible situation to be in,you just feel so lost dont you? i understand you!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all for your input. This is a very tough situation to be going through. Yes, I love my husband despite our differences at times. Yes, I have had relations with this woman and he knows all about it. I guess I don't know if it is lust or love for sure. I do know that when I am not with her, all I can think about is her and the next time I will talk to her, see her, or touch her. The touch of a woman is just so much different than that of man. My biggest dilemma is my kids. I do not want to split my family up, but I also want to be with the right person for the rest of my life. I guess time will only tell. I'll have to see where both my marriage and my relationship with this woman goes. I don't want either to fall apart or to be disregarded because they are both so good in so many different ways. I think it is even harder because our marriage is going well right now. If we were in a rough spot or on the verge of divorce like we have been before...then the choice would probably be much easier for me. I just hope I get a sign from some where, some how, that will lead me in the right direction. And I hope that I am not too oblivious to it, when it comes. Thanks again and please don't apologize for your rants or raves about your personal problems. The whole reason we are on here is because we all need advice. And if you don't voice your needs or concerns, you will never find answers.
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A
male
reader, tRyinG2buNd3rstand1n9  +, writes (3 February 2011):
My wife and I are currently going through the same dilemma (question: "Am I crazy for staying?"). To be honest, I thought that you were my wife asking this question. All I can say is be open and honest with your husband. For me it has been painful and exhausting and we have decided to stay together, despite her attraction (and not acting on it). I guess the real difference between you and my wife is that my wife has been there. For me, all I want is for my wife to be happy. If she is gay, then so be it. I have told her that I would support her no matter what. However she does have family issues which will factor into your decision also. For her to tell me this, means that she loves me and she has shown me a new level of trust in our relationship - now its not for everybody and I am sure she debated it long and hard whether to tell me or not. But we appear to be in a better place now.Sorry to babble on about me and my problems, but I hope it gives you insight on how the other half feels.Good luck my dear.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2011): You would not be the first person who's had a very strong desire to try the other side after encouragement of a spouse. Some men encourage their women to seek a lesbian relationship (or encounter) because they falsely believe that there's a hot 3some in their future. Big mistake on their part, as the woman can develop a strong desire to explore her bi side.
Talk to your husband, tell him where you are!
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