A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:im married but got involved with a guy i met through work, the only thing i ask was that he would be honest with me and if he wanted to call it a day just say so, that way we could stay friends and when we did meet through work there wouldnt be a problem.well its obvious now he just used me, hes blocked me online, when i said he seemed different with me and if he wants to call it a day that was fine he said definitly not, that was a week ago and now hes blocked me. obviously he did want to call is a day but didnt want to say.thing is i feel really bad and hurt that he couldnt just be honest and dont know how to react at work.i want to shout at him for ruining our friendship and makin work difficult.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2007): Same thing happened to me. And what really hurts is that all you wanted was his honesty.... He is so into his own ego and need for sexual stimulation that he probably doesn't even realize how much he hurt you...probably thinks you are a psycho for acting different around him at work, and I bet he will quickly move on to another woman at work, making you feel more insecure and more unwanted than ever...
Hold your head up high, ignore him as much as possible, and everytime you see him, remind yourself what a little boy he is, that he didn't even have the guts or respect for you to tell you it was over...tell yourself that you are a great person, who was manipulated by a slick weasel..and that every weasel will have their day. What goes around, comes back around. Hopefully you will have the good luck to see it!
Good Luck and stay strong!
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (29 May 2007):
 Some people have to burn their fingers before they know the iron is hot. You've learned your lesson. Whenever you are uncomfortable at work think of your husband, which you should have done in the beginning of this mess.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2007): ok point taken, i've behaved badly, my marriage is fine and will stay fine, i did something out of character but i'm hurting, this guy also told mates about things we had done and that's got back to people i know, not people my hubbie knows, yes i behaved badly but i feel very hurt and unsure how to react.
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A
male
reader, DV1 +, writes (29 May 2007):
 You should be worried about the consequences of your actions, and how it will effect your future and marraige.
Dv1
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A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (29 May 2007):
 It should have been pretty obvious to you that it would be a disaster from the start. You had an affair in work and his response now is not to your liking. All you can really do is ignore each other and try to forget about it...or find another job. He must have known you are married and it didn't bother him so it says something about his integrity of character. He probably did use you for sex but then you are married and having an affair so I am not quite sure you are in a position to protest too much about treading on others feelings. You should just try to learn to keep relationships outside the workplace and direct your energy towards fixing your marital problems.
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