A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have just been married for six months to a woman who was my friend before and had quiet a few relationships which she knows some about. i was in luv with another girl and went out for three years until i broke it off after i found out that my friend was going to have my baby. Now its hard to have sex with her even though she enjoys it too much but with me the feels aren't always the same. i feel i just wanna have sex with other woman like i use to but dont want to hurt her Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Jendorset  +, writes (7 June 2007):
If you were in love with this other woman then why the hell were you shagging your ''friend'' you bloody idiot. You didnt find it hard cheating on your girlfriend with her so why do you find it hard now. To cut it short, im going to say...perhaps you should try and be faithful to ONE woman and enjoy family life with her. Dont do the crime if you cant do the time. Just leave everything in the past now and focus on the future. If you put half as much effort into being a father as you do thinking about and having sex with whoever and whatever...you may just raise a decent kid. Focus on your child...NOT WHAT YOUVE GOT IN YOUR PANTS.
A
female
reader, deejuliet  +, writes (7 June 2007):
 Let me get this straight. You were dating a woman that you were in love with for 3 years. You broke up with her when you found out that you had gotten another women (your friend by your terms) pregnant. So you were used to being a cheater and a player and sleeping with multiple women even though you were 'in love' with one woman and in a long term relationship. Now you are disappointed that you cant continue to behave in that same misogonistic, immature fasion now that you are a husband and father? Time to grow up. There is a child here now and therefore you are no longer important. You may feel like having sex with other women, but you may not anymore. You have made a commitment to one woman. Even if she isnt the love of your life, she is the mother of your child and she deserves your respect and your commitment. For the sake of your child, learn to keep it in your pants!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2007): I don't really know what kind of advice you are expecting to receive from people. 6 months ago you made a commitment to be faithful to your wife for the rest of your life, you must have known that there would be temptations and lustful thoughts towards at other women?
It sounds like you weren't emotionally ready for a marriage, but I don't need to tell you that. This doesn't mean that your marriage isn't going to work but you need to come to terms with the fact that your ex chose to be with someone else and there is nothing you can do to change that or to take away the obvious pain you are feeling about it. Now though you are very much responsible for the well-being of your wife, and by allowing yourself to entertain the idea that you want to sleep with other women you are making things harder for yourself. Think long and hard about these thoughts, are they innocent thoughts brought from the realisation that you are now committed to your wife, or are they thoughts that are likely to develop in to pursuing a women and becoming unfaithful? But whatever you do, remember that you don't want to hurt your wife so if you really don't want to stay in a marriage then end it before cheating on her.
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