A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I've been married for 13 years, and I've turned into the angry PMS bitch in the last 4 years or so. It just keeps getting worse every day.My husband just keeps getting dumber, and doing less. He will do "girl" work like wash dishes, bake cookies, and totally ignores "guy" work like mowing the lawn and yard work. He lets the kids watch TV all the time. If I tell him not to do something (like hang wet towels on the fridge door where they don't dry and stink), he gets all pissed off at me, then usually does it MORE often. I'm bored with sex and refuse to have it anymore. Besides, I'm always too angry with him anyway. Having PMS just makes it worse. He just confronted me, asking why I'm so mad at him. I list a whole bunch of reasons, including standing over me and not saying anything. So what does he do two minutes later? I tell him to leave NOW or I'm going to start screaming. He doesn't move, and I explode. So my question is how to control PMS, how to control anger, how to deal with a husband that won't stop doing things even when I ask him repeatedly? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Lydia5  +, writes (18 October 2009):
Have you worked out why the PMS started? Did you come off the pill, or have a baby 4 years ago? You can help from the doctor if you keep a record of your symptoms.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2009): please check your hormones.
this is not PMS
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2009): My circumstance is the same, although gender reversed. My husband is constantly angry, and always after me about where I put things, how I put them, if the 10 year old's room is clean, and complains angrily all day about every detail he hates about his home life. He has PMS times three and it sucks. The result is I don't like living with him, I hate being around him and have moved to telling him I don't want him anymore because his actions are destructive.I think my response is normal. I wonder if you are willing to have the risk of your husband deciding it is wrong to remain with a person whose actions destroy the peace in the home and likely in his life.
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A
female
reader, birdynumnums +, writes (30 August 2009):
 Like raising a toddler or putting up with a teenage girl in the house, you are going to have to pick and choose your battles. The reason WHY he puts towels on the fridge door or doesn't do something the way that YOU think it should be done? GUYS DON'T CARE ABOUT HANGING THE TOWEL UP. They JUST don't!!! And, they are all the same - sorry Guys - I love you - BUT - my husband will leave the dish cloth in a dirty, rung out ball on the bottom of the sink like clockwork, as he has done for the last 33 years - even though I patiently explain that that just breeds germs in the dishcloth. It's easier to get a new dishcloth. Saves arguments. Something that WE think is necessary in order for the house to run perfectly is just another small detail, and guys aren't detail oriented (unless it's a football stat or a wrench size). He's going to shut down and turn off every time you get up in his grill with a list of stuff. Who wants to hear that? You wouldn't want to hear that same thing every night! And you're not enjoying having to have this same battle every night either! It's ineffective, and you are only driving yourself nuts! If there is a job that needs doing, ask him if you can give him his favorite meal after he is done finishing with doing that chore. You get farther with honey (and bribery) than with vinegar.So, by choosing your battles, you give up on the small stuff and hope that they follow through on the big stuff, like coming home at night, bringing home a paycheck, etc. It's not worth turning your home into a battleground over the little things. And just hire someone to mow the lawn, neighborhood kids will do it for $15.00 - once a week, it's a break for both of you and it will cut down on your stress level. XXX
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A
female
reader, califnan  +, writes (30 August 2009):
 PMS is premenstral.. Are you like this all the time? I will assume that both of you work a job outside of the home.. If you are not making love, and he continues to do the things that annoy you .. then (assuming that you work) you may want to only do the things around the house that you Can do.. and ask him if there is room in the budget for the other things that you and he cannot/will not do.. You must be freed up enough to find yourself and your marriage again .. I would think that love making will definitely improve both of your attitudes as well. .
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