A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I married for 4 years, no kids, my relationship was very good until I have to relocate to a different state due to work. After living away from my husband for 4 months I found out he was not sleeping at home (couple of nights), since then my relationship deteriorated. He swears he didn't cheat but I just can't trust him anymore. Two months later I meet a wonderful men having trouble with his wife too, been married for 8 years and has a son. We started just being friends at first, until he started looking for something more. By that point I liked him so much we started sleeping together. We found in each other what we did not have a home. The different is that I do not live with my husband (10 months now) but he lives with his wife. I will return home in two moths, (I had asked for a transfer before all this started). This man is relocating to a different state with his wife and kid. But now we are in love with each other. we do not know what to do? we truly feel like we are right for each other. He has told his wife about not feeling the same about her, but does not want to break her heart by telling her he is cheating on her. Neither do I. I love this men but I am not giving my husband a fair chance since he is not here? should I believe he was faithful? should I tell him? should I not go back? where would I work? I am so confused.... please give me advice, can I be in love with two men at the same time? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, babybunnie  +, writes (9 May 2011):
There is a saying, "if HE is willing to cheat WITH you, he will do it TO you!" He is already showing he has broken the promise with his wife, what makes you think he would never do it again? You have to think this through very carefully for you are falling into the mind of a valnerable person whose needs have not been met, but being with a married man ( and you being one as well) will not solve your deepest issues!
A
male
reader, eddie +, writes (4 May 2011):
 The other aunt said, never believe a married man, even if he's in love with you and says he wants to leave his wife. Why is it always the fault of the man. How about this.....if you're in a relationship, male or female, don't stick your nose in someone elses romantic life. Both parties in this situation jumped into something they shouldn't have. It's not about assigning guilt by gender, it's about realizing that when you begin something like this it doesn't always end well.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2011): Never believe a married man, even if he's in love with you, when he tells you he wants to leave his wife. That's the best advice I can give you. Especially when there are children involved, many men who promise this do not follow through.
Your geographic situation looks as though it's forcing you to go back to your husband. I would try to work things out there first. Many marriages survive cheating if the partners are committed. Distance is a very difficult obstacle to overcome in the relationship, and that part of being resolved for you. Rebuild the trust, and work it out. That's what being married means...
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