A
female
age
30-35,
*oniqueEE
writes:I'm losing one of my closest friends, becaus he's an ex :(we have been broken up for a few months, we had a no talk period because I was finding it difficult but then I let him back in. He would call almost every night and we would hang out. Yes we did the 'casual sex' for a little bit but that's over now and we still talk.What I can't seem to get past is how it's not the same. I used to be so comfortable with calling him up and talking, or asking him to go watch a film, but for some reason I dont feel that I can. I spoke to him about this and he said that whenever I bring up the issue of us not being real friends, it hurts him because apparently I'm such a good friend to him and he is really trying with me. He says he makes more effort with me simply because he is trying to reciprocate and wants me in his life. But I don't feel right.His birthday is coming up and he invited me to it, but I can't go. I would feel awkward, his friends will be there and all I can think is that he will ignore me. I don't feel imporant to him anymore and as much as I love this guy, sometimes it's just too much to be around him. It's not that I feel pain, but it doesn't feel like reality. I just need to know what to do about this because it's all on me. I feel this way, he doesn't. I feel like I'm hanging on by a thread, he's like my best friend and it hurts that i can't feel our friendship is ok. It seems so flimsy... Should I let go?
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male
reader, dirtball  +, writes (16 July 2010):
 Ok, it is near impossible to maintain a real friendship with an ex because inevitably, one person wants the relationship to continue. If you're spending all this time together, talking all the time, going on dates, having sex, WHY DID YOU EVEN BREAK UP? It sounds like you're still dating to me. If I was doing all that with someone, I'd consider them my gf.
"Should I let go?" Yes, and move on. What you're doing now isn't healthy for you, or you wouldn't be posting here. It is perfectly ok to tell him that you want more or nothing, and that this inbetween shit is just too hard for you. He wants you to be his fuck buddy, and you're giving it to him, and the whole time it conflicts you. Do yourself a favor and cut your ties. It will hurt, probably pretty bad, but you will be prolonging your pain as long as you continue as you are now.
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