A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello Everyone.I'm totally at my witts end and confused about what to do.I feel like my head is going to explode.I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years odd now, we moved in together after a perfect 6-7 weeks together...Now I know everyone will probably say well more fool you for moving in with someone after that short amount of time but it really was perfect.We have had a brilliant run of bad luck within this time with one of us always being out of work due to the current climate and suffering miscarriages etc. Now it feels like I am living with a total stranger.He is rude to me all the time and I have to put up with it or else he just leaves me...Examples of this are on our first christmas he went out all day and left me in the house with his mother, on boxing day I wanted to go and see my family but because his usual routine is going down the local pub this caused a big row about how I ruined his christmas etc.The second big instance was after having suffered the miscarriage he offered to take me away, his best friend had a baby and was wetting the babies head it turned out on the same weekend we planneed to go away, He quickly changed his plans to accomodate his friends party and rowed with me when I questioned our weekend away telling me I was selfish for trying to ruin it for him - Was I wrong to question this after the promise???Its moved on to constant rowing everyday, just a moment ago we were looking for some cigarettes, and I said wow you must be smoking loads at the moment the response was a hurl of name calling and abuse, telling me I was looking at causing a row when I was merely making a comment- was this wrong of me???Every few days he leaves me and although I know I shouldnt I find myself begging him to come back.He has for the last week been accusing me of cheating an accusation of which there is no substance or truth.He is rude to me infront of his family and friends putting me down and always telling bad stuff about me.what to do????
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, cocoqueen88  +, writes (6 August 2010):
 if you're fed up with him leave. it doesn't sound like he wants to wokr it out anyways.
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (6 August 2010):
 Yeah what the Doc said.
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A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (6 August 2010):
 What to do? This is the easiest question I have ever had to answer on this website. The answer is 'leave him'. Before you pack your bags, take a trip to the citizens advice bureau to get help on your joint financial obligations. Basically things could turn nasty once you leave. If you have a joint tenancy, then both of you could be responsible for the rent for the tenancy period (12 months?). If you have joint bank accounts or anything of that nature then you need to get your name removed or be lumbered with his debts. His verbal aggression could escalate into physical abuse in the future. He clearly doesn't respect you or else he wouldn't abuse you in front of other people. He sounds immature because he puts his own needs first. However, there is no changing him. If you want to live in a war zone, remain where you are. If you accept him back everytime he storms off in some drama or other then you are saying 'treat me as badly as you want, I am always here to be trodden on some more'. It is time to accept the relationship isn't working - we all make mistakes! You can correct this mistake by leaving and getting on with your life. You are young, wiser for this experience and will exert some caution when the next man comes along who wants to set up home with you.
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