A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid ReadersHave you got any advice or guidance for a legal name change?My past has been painful and life experience has been full of regrets. Certain events have felt so crucifying to the heart that I've decided to change my name in hopes of a fresh start.Realistically speaking, I know that opinions will differ, but would love some feedback from anyone who has ever experienced this/what do you think it would feel like to go through a full name change. What are your first thoughts on this (could really do with some supportive guidance here)... more to the point, what would you think if a friend or family member approached you and their words to you were that they are changing their name.Come to think of it, if you were to tell a stranger any random name, they wouldn't know any difference, but you know say that people who know you for who you are may experience a little cognitive dissonance. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (28 June 2015):
 I guess it would REALLY depend on the exact reason.
Just changing a name doesn't change WHO you are or where you came from. BUT I can imagine someone who has a VERY specific name (surname) or is related to some ghastly serial killer, might want to distance themselves.
I have my kids two names (a first & middle name) The first name is feminine/old fashioned the middle name is unisex/gender neutral. So if they felt their first name was too girly they could go by the middle name. My middle daughter did for a while, but went back to her first name. She was also 8/9 at the time. It was up to her.
My husband's oldest son has changed his name, I think because he felt his name was NOT "creative" enough. However you can have a unique name and NOT BE "unique" or "creative".
My older brother goes by his middlename and took his wife's surname - so he really DID change his name, but he is still WHO he was before. Nothing changed.
I would say BEFORE you go ahead and change your name, seek counseling, DEAL with your past with a QUALIFIED therapist.
IF you have a really common name and just want to stand out, I get it. And I see nothing wrong in not wanting to be Jane Smith, but maybe Joshlyn Smith.
If you want to remove yourself ENTIRELY from your past, a new name isn't going to fix it.
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