A
female
age
41-50,
*onder79
writes:I posted on the first of the month about how I was struggling to regain trust in my boyfriend after discovering that he was carrying on a long-distance, sexually explicit relationship with a female 'friend'. This is a long follow up but I would appreciate feedback.Over the past few weeks, I've been trying to work through all the hurt and anger with him because I do love him and he repeatedly states that he wants to be with me and no one else.Last night, I confronted him again about some of my trust concerns. I have seen links on his computer that make me wonder how sincere he is about having an open and honest relationship with me. (Eg. Setting up online voicemail, setting up Skype online phone account).As we talked and after alot of serious thought, I finally asked him to let me see the correspondence (emails, letters etc.) he had been receiving from this other female. I was torn about whether or not I really wanted to see their conversations. He had been 'friends' with this female for over a decade and has only been with me for about four years. I really don't care what happened before he and I started dating but I think I have the right to know what was going on behind my back.If there is nothing else to hide from me, why would he hesistate to show me his emails/letters/etc since he is so adamant about wanting to work things out together and regaining my trust?I have not and would not look through his email without him there with me. I do not want to be a babysitter for my boyfriend and I'm tired of living with sneaking around and lies. But I cannot seem to regain any of my trust in him because he continues to be so secretive about his relationship with the other female as well as his other online activities.I'm at a loss as to what to do. I've told him I'm ready to hear anything he wants to tell me and tried to leave the door open for the truth. I really don't want anymore nasty surprises. And, honestly, if I find out on my own that he's lied to me again, I don't know if our relationship can last. Reply to this Question
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