A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm so lost. My fiance and I have been dating for 4 years now and we recently have gotten engaged. In any case, I dont find myself so attracted to him anymore, yet I am extremely attracted to his older cousin. We share an extremely close bond.A few days ago, my fiance told me that we have been distant and I should decide whether we should stay together or not and if I decide not I should tell my parents. I decided to not stay with him and proceeded to tell my parents the following day.My boyfriend has no idea that I have any feelings for his cousin, so this has nothing to do with it and he still does not know.My parents are completely siding with my boyfriend I dont understand why they arent on my side, I said he wasnt doing much with his life and is doing nothing to improve his life, and that he likes to stay in the same position forever, his comfort zone; further, I dont feel that I love him any longer.My parents had become extremely angry at me and so after my boyfriend left, I decided to just get back with him and to what is best for the greater number). I decided that I will reunite with him and stay with him just to make my parents happy.My parents are happy that he is back on the same day as the breakup in fact yet they still arent talking to me. My dad is treating me as if I am some stranger who has done something completely wrong.Nobody knows I have any feelings toward his cousin so that isnt the reason.When I am with his cousin I have such a great time, we laugh and talk about things so openly with each other. We havent kissed or even held hands, but he does care a great deal about me. He always calls, takes me out for coffee and lunch and never lets me pay, whereas my boyfriend always expects me to pay. This guy, he just wants me to be comfortable and happy and then he is. I enjoy being with him, laughing with him, smiling with him, the way he looks at me as if I am the most beautiful girl in the world, going places with him and listening to his stories. I dont want a boyfriend right now not even him,if my fiance and I end things.I just want him to be my close friend like he is although I find myself constantly thinking about him, but it is good enough for me.I have never gone to any of these sites for advice, but I feel as though I need some external advice on what I should do.What should I do? Firstly, how do I get my parents to speak to me again? I am 21 and they treat me like a child, I dont drink (out of my choice), or smoke (out of my choice) or even do drugs (out of my choice). I have never been to a club, but I would love to go. I really want some liberation. How do I get my staunch strict parents to understand that I am old enough to make my own decisions and get them to talk to me again?Secondly, what do I do about my boyfriend? Should I stay with him and get married and be unhappy?? He is seven years older then me and my crush is 10 years older then me, yet my boyfriend behaves like his 15 years older then me whereas my crush acts and behaves like his my age yet he makes mature decisions and behaves maturely. What should I do about all this, My boyfriend, My crush and My parents.I just want to be happy thats it.Please give me some advice. I have no money to move out, Im still studying so I have no starting money or anything.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi.
Thanks so much for the advice. Well I do know where I am going because I am completing my degree soon. My parents wont let me get a job which I would love to do.
Im a very non violent person and absolutely hate trouble.
I want to work things out with my parents because I hate the atmosphere in this house.
How do I resolve things with them?
They really making some harsh and untrue comments about me and I hate it.
Im such a lost cause I know, but thank you for taking the time to respond!!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi.Thanks so much for the advice. Well I do know where I am going because I am completing my degree soon. My parents wont let me get a job which I would love to do.Im a very non violent person and absolutely hate trouble.I want to work things out with my parents because I hate the atmosphere in this house.How do I resolve things with them?They really making some harsh and untrue comments about me and I hate it.Im such a lost cause I know, but thank you for taking the time to respond!!
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