A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:What should i do with my abusive partner?My partner is in his early 40s, he has been abusive in the past and spent 8 weeks in the past in prison for punching me in the face. After a lot of soul searching i forgave him and resumed a relationship with him, we went on to have another child, and have 2 an 3 and 6 yr old.I find it hard to be affectionate to him as he has hurt me in the past and after the recent death of his mother to whom he was extremely close to, in fact lived with right up until her passing, we have drifted apart.He recently returned home after being out all day and started a awful row with me, calling me fat, ugly, saying i smelt and using bad words in front of our 2 kids who were still up, Then he escalated the abuse to the physical, "just wanted to scare me?" My little boy who is 3 saw the whole thing. Later when i had put my children to bed my partner started again by pouring beer over me and calling me names and putting me down, he also tried to hurt me physically.I lay awake all night thinking what to do and in the morning i told him i was leaving, he never said sorry in fact he blames the whole thing on me saying i drove him to it as i am a control freak. I never question him if he is out and I wonder why he thinks that. I know abusive men dont see reason and he hates me. He has left and is staying at a friends, he has just bought a flat which he will live in now. How do i go down the whole road of access with children, how can i make this break without anymore arguing as i dont want to antagonise him.
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female
reader, Mariab +, writes (8 January 2012):
 If you don't do this for yourself... do it for your children!!! Tell this guy to drop dead and if he touches you again ...YOU PHONE THE POLICE and press charges. Never let children watch abuse... and then a woman accept it and live in fear of speaking out!!! I would call some family members over (leave the kids at a friends)... and sit down and tell him its over and that if he touches you again, you will not let him get away with it. Unfortunately there is no easy way of doing this...but that doesn't mean you have to do it alone... good luck. I hope you find the strength.! xx
A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (8 January 2012):
 You can start by calling the police and pressing charges. It will be very difficult for him to antagonise you from a jail cell. It will also add another incident to his criminial record thus making child custody easier for you (and benefitial for the kids).
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