A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have a MASSIVE thing for this guy. I've posted questions on here before and 99.9% of the answers say he's flirting and interested... but now I have a problem and I need a guys insight into things.so I don't know this guy (we'll call him jj) overly well, but he's friends with my roommate (D, who is practically my brother) so jj is here a lot of the time; he is current job has him away from home for weeks on end, but it never fails, as soon as he has time off he is over here with D. this friday was one the beginning of 3 days off for him, and just like clock work he showed up here. I was hanging out ith a friend on the opposite end of the house so I didn't know he had came. D's gf (who I am also friends with) was sitting in the same room as D and jj; she was the one who relayed the following info to me. apparently, after D and jj had talked for a few mins jj asked where I was, d replied "in her room". jj "oh, cause I wanted to take her and you out for lunch" (please note, I thought this really weird; me and jj never hang out, he had no logical reason to be asking me to go). D, "she's with N". jj, "I want just her, not her effin tag along" When D's girlfriend told me this I almost died of excitement, and was expecting something to happen in the few days he was home. yesterday, he came to our place without D, and walked right into my room (N was still here), which her has NEVER done. he stood in the doorway for a bit, pet my dog, then went to play xbox. that night he came and sat beside me on the couch. all new things, so I was getting excited. Then today, I don't know what happened! he didn't look at me, didn't talk to me (though he did talk to N, who was sitting right beside me) and he kept telling D (quite loudly) about this hot girl who number he had got and how he was telling her how great he body was, and what a nice ass she had, and how he had to say "goodnight to his baby" even though he had just met her the day prior. I'm just so confused... why the sudden change? please help; I'm so lost. I really like this guy... I don't know why he's acting like this.
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (16 December 2010):
 Ask D
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questiontrouble was, N had left and he still ignored me... did he lose his nerve or lose interested ?
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A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (13 December 2010):
Guys can swing like that yes, if you give them the wrong signals and don't play it smooth yourself. Its all about reading the other person. Or perhaps he tried to flirt but didn't get the response he wanted, or he changed his mind after seeing how it went down.
In any case, if you want him alone then stop bring this N around when he's around? Isn't that obvious that if he doesn't like N he wont be around you when N is around? And you know when jj has time off work so just don't have this N around at that time...?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question I was never asked face to face; N was present the whole weekend and he wanted me "alone". he doesn't really like N (in fact he tells D how annoying she is often), and is fairly shy (doesn't really know what to do around girls); D on the other hand is pretty smooth, & I wouldn't put it past him to be coaching jj in all matters girl (it would explain the abrupt change in him).
I did flirt with him when he came to my room, but again, N was present. this was only the 2nd time he's been in my room, and he literally just came in the house (without D, which NEVER happens) and came right to my room. the first time he was in my room he had left the house, and came back with one of his rottie's 6 week old pups. he came right down to my room and set it on the bed, then proceeded to stand in the doorway & watch and smile as I played with it (N & D were present). if it was his excuse to be in my room it worked. (both the 1st & 2nd times happened saturday). he also texted me saturday night and asked if he could me if he could borrow something of D's (even tho he should have texted D and asked this, not me).
even if I misjudged, & he only likes me as a friend, why would he have flirted sooo much one day & they completely ignore (literally, I walked into the room and he looked away and got completely silent) me the next? it just doesn't add up. it sounds like something D would do (he knows how to manipulate girls), not jj...
& jj does know I like him (I've never said it to him face, I'm too shy, but we have texted and stuff). his sister was here one day and just outright said he liked me too (which at the time I never woulda guessed... he's so quiet/shy we barely talked then). we weren't even talking about him, or anything (she was using my computer) and she just randomly said "jj really likes you".
... Guys, do you really go from wanting to ask a girl out one day to fully ignoring/avoiding her the next? or is there some kinda method to it all?
D is known to be a ladies man... think jj could be taking girl advice?
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A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (13 December 2010):
I think its way overdue that you ask him out on a date then. Or are you going to sit around and analyze his behaviour while waiting for him to make a move on you?
Gather up some courage and ask him out. Plain and simple. Who knows why he does what he does, maybe he likes you but thinks you're not interested, maybe he just likes you as a friend and wants to make sure you don't get any ideas, maybe he likes you and tries to make you jealous, but honestly I think guys tend to be pretty simple.
He wanted to hang with you the one day, the next day he didn't have that craving. Then he remembered about some girl he had met and decided to talk about her a bit. Then he probably wanted to eat something and scratch his bum. No offense, I don't think there were any deeper meaning behind his actions.
Did you ever go out on that lunch? Did you actually ever talk to him? What moves did he make? He came to your door, pet the dog, what did you do? Did you talk to him? Did you flirt? Or did you shoo him away? He can't read your mind you know!
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